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ROUND AND ABOUT
BY JUDAS ISCARIOT - April 2006

DWP TALKS BREAKDOWN
by Barrabas 09/04/06

Although it is reported some headway has been made in the talks about job cuts, the employer is refusing to agree to continue the "no compulsory redundancy" agreement of last year.

This is surprising given that it was the easiest of PCS "demands" to agree to. The expectation therefore is that the cuts will continue unabated, unless the troops can sway the employer by taking further action.

The GEC will meet on Wednesday 12th April to consider the position. They will vote on a further 2 days of strike action to take place on 2nd & 3rd May and that vote will be carried.

So, we'll be out of the trenches again to reinforce the negotiators' position. It will not be an easy task to re-motivate the troops after so long a lull in the fighting, but consider those currently on surplus or unassigned lists - they'll be first for the chop if we don't fight back. Attendance management - dishing out the warnings and sackings will continue apace, and let's not forget it's PDS season.

JCP has washed its hands of H&S matters, they are to be devolved to management checklists and letters of assurance - not worth the paper they're written on.

It's all gloom and doom, isn't it? But we CAN make a difference - get out and sell the strike to the members. Do it NOW!

Barrabas

update 12/04/06 - The above proved to be correct - you read it here first!


ROUND AND ABOUT
by JUDAS - 12/04/2006

The clocks go forward. The sun is up. Spring is here at last and with it a new optimism in the trenches that DWP Management was finally coming to their senses. In the dugouts members were buying their Easter Eggs and thinking about their holidays -- lulled by the fact that talks were proceeding and that a deal could be reached if Management gave an assurance that there would be no compulsory redundancies.

That all ended last week. Nothing new was put on the table and another big push begins on 2 nd May. Though planned for two days the SWP was clamouring for a three or four day stoppage to take the whole week out, send Management reeling and tie in with the council workers' pensions offensive. That, however, died the death when Unison called off their strike to allow fresh talks to commence. It now appears that the Government is set to cave in completely over public sector pensions.

While the DWP troops prepare for the Godrich offensive, the rest of the union prepares for the 2006 election races though there can be little doubt that the Lunity/PCS Democrats Alliance slate will sweep the board once again. The rival 4theMembers slate is expected to do little better than last year despite the efforts of JAKE WILDE and LES PRIESTLEY to capitalise on the collapse of the STUART CURRIE'S rump Moderati group. While most of the Bunterites still in the service will swing behind 4tM the JAKE slate will be lucky if it gives them two extra NEC seats.

Well behind the lines PHIL PARDOE has definitely become a forgotten man shunned by many of his old SOCIALIST WANKER comrades who say it would be better to get PHIL purged now to get it over and done with and move on.

Whether PARDOE gets the chance to present a defence remains to be seen. SWP London enforcer MARTIN SMITH's chosen method is simply to ring the miscreant and give him his marching orders down the phone. His latest victim is SIMON DOWLSWELL from the ODPM (BALONEYS stronghold). DOWLSWELL's telephone expulsion had nothing to do with PCS. It was because he spoke out against the SWP/Galloway line at the RESPECT conference (plus other undefined misdemeanours).

SWP Golden Boy ROB BRYSON was heard to comment that "there is no place for anyone who breaks the GALLOWAY line in the SWP". Dave OWEN should be careful as he is well known to be unhappy with the RESPECT project. New SWP industrial Organiser Moira NOLAN is known to be a heavy handed martinet in party matters and will brook no nonsense apparently.

And that brings us to the problems the SWP is now facing. MARTIN JOHN jumped ship before he was pushed. SUE BOND is on probation following her grovelling apology to the SWP Politburo for breaking the party line over the pensions and TANSY FELTIS is considered to be staring at the abyss for being a   maverick.

Things aren't too clever for the CARCASE either. GILL WHITTAKER is being investigated by Management over alleged misconduct on the front line and could face the push and JANE (mine's a bucket) ROGERS could be in a stew over picket line photographs taken in conjunction with ex-Secret Left non-Carcasite lickspittle TERRY HOBBS.

Rumours of LEE ROCK'S drunken behaviour have now reached Chateau Falconcrest. It appears that whilst in Leeds there was a gathering of the CARCASE in an ale house of ill repute, where after far too many sherbets ROCK was found to be not only worse for wear but also making a big point of dismissing MRS ROCKS phone calls to return home to her and their new born pebble. Much to the astonishment of even his closest colleagues and in sight of a spy from the GRANDEES he chose not to return home but to sleep on the hotel floor of one of his comrades. The offers came in from BACON, MCDONALD and the fragrant CHRISTINE HULME. There was only one choice for our proud father as he staggered off to HULME'S room to sleep it off.

ROCK has been on sick-leave for months and his long-term future is now in doubt. He's tried to get a transfer from Barnsley to Sheffield but the latest rumour is that he's cut a deal with Management to take medical retirement.

Back in Geordieland all the usual suspects assembled at the PCS HQ in Newcastle for SEAN FAHEY's retirement "do" on 23 rd March. Old stagers like BERNIE WILLIAMS and his missus TM turned out to pay homage. Ex Child Benefit branch harridan PEGGY SMITH showed up and at the age of 82 (which she told anybody within earshot) was till capable of sinking at least 8 cans of Guinness. TONY ROUSE, Barry Reamsbottom's main man up north in the Moderati era, was there and everybody went out of their way to ignore him.

The festivities continued in the Bacchus pub on High Bridge where of course even more drink was consumed. DAVE HANNA, a senior steward in HMRC, was refused service as he was too pissed. He stormed over to FAHEY (who by this time was well on the way after several Dalwhinnies -- his malt of choice) to ask if he was to be supported by the TU folks present. SEAN said he would meet him in the Waterloo at which Hanna staggered off. It was only when others asked where the Waterloo was that Sean said he had meant the Duke of Wellington !

ALISON, the Training officer of NICO, fell asleep after testing the red wine selection. The barman called a number of taxis to ferry her home -- all of whom refused to take her. Hero status has to go to JAN GIFFORD who somehow arranged for the tired person to be taken home safely. DAVE MATTHEWS, ASHLEY BEARE and all of the HMRC GEC were there after conveniently being at a meeting in the Toon.

FAHEY's son arrived just when SEAN was staggering off home to be greeted by his father with " I know, you don't  I?" Thankfully Sean's wife Dot had left the do when all were still sensible.

Meanwhile dahn Sarf Comrade RAY ALDERSON was holding his leaving thrash at the Custom House HQ opposite HMS Belfast on the Thames . A vast variety of types were there and Ray picked up the tab for the free bar.

Ex NUPE GS Rodney Bickerstaffe showed up and appeared to be wearing slippers. Former Commissar supremo and ex GS of AUEW TASS, KEN GILL also joined in the merriment. JENNIE DRAKE, ex Post office CPSA along with SPIKE WOOD and BILLY McCLORY turned up as well as JOHN ROBERTS (ex CPSA NEC) and DAVE FELTON (ex Times ) as well as dozens of other journalists trying in vain to drink more than they had bought Alderson in the past.

GILL TROMANS (ex DSS) and John Freeman(DWP Newark ) both former TROTS who were half expecting to be the figures of a show trial were just talking about how CLIVE BUSH ( Former Commissar and past RED TAPE Editor) was dead when the old git walked in still alive and kicking wearing a fetching black eye patch.

During the evening RAY was presented with the ORDER OF LENIN (£25 in Camden Market from any Albanian stall) and the night finished in a pub across the road.

Talking about Geordies we've just heard that one of the delegates to the DCA Group Conference from Newcastle is Carl (I assume it's not spelt with a "K" in view of who his dad is) Cox son of Joe (the Taxi) Cox.  Apart from being a Newcastle United season ticket holder, any resemblance to his Lardy 'Dar' is hard to see. BFGB Jnr is 6 foot one and built like a brick shithouse. He comes highly regarded by many HMCS footie colleagues after a Northern Region v NW Region football match, putting the deputy court director for the NW in hospital after one of the best tackles seen in recent sporting history. If only The Toon were watching.

It is now confirmed LES MORGAN (DCA South Wales) is standing in the NEC elections as a "True Independent" - he has absolutely no hope of getting elected but the clever money is on the possibility of him getting more nominations than the 4TheMembers/Moderati crowd. MORON also recently won a prize for the "star letter" in PCS View . The prize was a £50 pen which he'll no doubt soon be using for Departmental work.

WILLIE SAMUEL, who is standing for the DWP GEC as an "independent" with 4tM support, is clearly getting desperate by claiming to be a PFL supporter in his election address!

Credo quia absurdum

I believe it because it is absurd

Quintus Septimius Florens Tertulliannus

(155-230 AD)