MAGAZINE - AUTUMN 1987
NEWS FROM THE SMOKE-FILLED ROOMS
Once more plot and counterplot dominates the news of the Union, as SILLY WANKING PRATTS, WINNIKA and MARTIN UPCHURCH have announced their departure from the SWP fiefdom in the HO RESEARCH DEPARTMENT. Appalled by the MENDICANT MENSHEVIKS takeover of the union, they have decided to go back to school to learn how to be good little Trot POLYTECHNIC LECTURERS. They start at Garrett College in Roehampton soon. They need not worry. JOHN Judge Dredd ELLIS has already ensured that theyre on the academic BLACK LIST.
Meanwhile, rumour has it that Mendicant satrap in the DTI, PHIL JAMES is facing disciplinary proceedings from his management for GROSS INDUSTRIAL MISCONDUCT - hes got out of the habit of reporting for work. A SAVE PHIL JAMES CAMPAIGN will be launched if anyone can be found to contribute to it or organise in support of this boring little turd.
Back at HQ, the ASSISTANT SECRETARY STAKES had joint winners; BONNER the inebriated Scotchman, best known for his 10 hour analyses of the finer points of Mendicants economic policies, and SPENCE, the Liverpudlian tentpole, best known for his 10 hour speeches on the evils of gin and tonic. These results were a complete surprise to everyone except the Broad Left National Committee, which had made the decision months ago. SPENCE had to be rewarded for providing MACVICAR with NON-MENDICANT cover on the GS slate; the choice of Bonner was actually a fallback position. BAUGH was Mendicants original choice, but he dropped out when his wife wisely threatened to divorce him if he moved to London. Another fallen runner in the race was STEVE DUNG; he has his own problems as his management also attempt to remove him from the payroll, on the entirely spurious grounds that he wont complete diaries and therefore they dont know what hes doing. A similar situation has arisen in DHSS, where would-be DUGGAN purger SANDIE DONNACHIE has also been threatened, on the grounds that they do know what hes been doing! Donnachie, Deptl. TU Side Secy., is safe to leave in charge of DHSS Section Office while the full timers are away, and he has even been signing all-members circulars. Wisely management are saying they dont mind him being on full-time union duties, but if hes going to do CPSA HO work, then CPSA HO can pay for him!
CPSA feminists will note that the BORED LEFT, true to their principles, have made a series of attacks on the women full time officers, regarding them as a weak link This progressive line has already paid dividends. JANE HUSTWIT, the National Organiser, is off to a PR subsidiary of Unity Trust. Another vacancy to fill - it is already rumoured that MYRTYN JYNKYNS is thinking of applying! Talking of J***INS, it can be denied that DRUGGAN tried to strangle JENKYNS in an Indian restaurant in Forest Hill. He says he wasnt really trying.
On the subject of strangleholds, new depths of corruption are being plumbed by our NEC majority. For the rest of the year (with 1 exception), lecturers at National school will be Bored Left only. But a school between 1-3/9/87 only had JON BRUCE and the HEAD OF EDUCATION lecturing. Why? Simple - the NEC was in session and the Trots preferred £32.50 a night subsistence for attending the NEC to no subsistence for attending the residential school.
Strangely enough, the appointment of SPENCE as A.S. has not had the anticipated effect of calling up PURVIS. Marion Chambers, EL PRESIDENTE, has informed the NEC (not ruled, they could challenge that!) that the V.P. vacancy must go out to fresh nomination and election. With KATE LOZENGE due to retire soon, there will be 2 posts for the bestial factions to argue about.
On the subject of bestial factions, it is not noteworthy that when MC VICAR and ADAMS sought to lead the assembled masses in the INTERNATIONALE at the survivors do at. Conference, they FORGOT THE WORDS.
Meanwhile, the Brandstatterite DIRECT ACTION bloc has merged with the DE based WORKHOUSE group, an ultra-leftist group of such sophistication that they campaigned for a no vote in the last selective strike action ballot because they thought a no vote would lead to immediate all out strike action! The leadership of this shower (who left the RCP because it was too right wing!) are now sulking because the CPSA Official RCP faction (Paul Flewers & his mate) has also joined the new group. There is now a major internal debate about whether the group is a faction within the Bored Left or a Revolutionary Alternative. A split is expected soon.
TERRY ADAMS Asst. gen. secretary. Paid approximately £16,000. He is the real intellect behind the Militant infiltration of the CPSA. Adams, now in his late thirties, learned his Left-wing politics at Sussex University. He is the classic Loony Left sleeper. He joined the CPSA research department from the Post Office Workers Union but kept a low profile for a decade until Militant's rise to power two years ago.
* ELLIS SAYS: "I have had little to do with him even though he is supposed to be a close aide".
JOHN MACREADIE Deputy general secretary. Paid £19,000. The Militant front man in the CPSA. Known as a bit of a dim-wit who needs advice from Adam. Has had motions of incompetence brought against him by members. Unsociable, rarely drinks and is known Is have a fiery temper. Caused uproar at the CPSA Clapham headquarquarters when he blasted his colleagues as useless in a newspaper article.
*ELLIS SAYS: "He is more the lead violin than the conductor of MilItant"
Executive member. Administrative officer with Inland Revenue. This is his first year on the executive - but he is obviously an Adams protege. He shoots his mouth off at executive meetings and has caused feuds in the Militant camp. He fell out of favour three years ago - but he is fighting back. He is ambitious and is challenging Kevin Roddy as "unofficial" leader of the Militant group.
*ELLIS SAYS: "He has evolved as the hard man of the Left and the least flexible in arguments."
KEVIN RODDY Executive member. Former CPSA president. Admin. officer with DHSS child benent office in Washington, Tyne and Wear. Leader of Militant on the executive of the union. Once described as a very peculiar character by a top Labour member of Parliament. Roddy has a one-track mind which concentrates solely on Militant and its plans. He rarely socialises and never indulges in chitch at.
*ELLIS SAYS: "He is a complete oddball and I wouidn't pass the time of day with him."
CHRIS BAUGH Executive member. Administrative officer with the Land Registry. Until this year he was known as personable and Intelligent. But since Militant took control of the CPSA executive, colleagues say he has changed into a virulent, nasty character. Used to socialise quite a bit with CPSA activists, whether Militant or not. But he has been brought into line and is rarely seen with non-Militants.
*ELLIS SAYS: "He is known as one of their hard policy men who will not move from Militant's official position regardless of the circumstances."
DOREEN PURVIS Executive member. Admin officer at the DHSS. Described by one member of the CPSA headquarters staff as an "horrendous character- pushy, nasty and objectionable." Responsible for Militants' rise to power among the 5,000-strong workforce at DHSS headquarters. Formerly CPSA branch secretary there. Led the nine-month dispute at the DHSS HQ In 1985 which cost the Government £l70 miIllon and the CPSA £l million in strike pay.
* ELLIS SAYS: "I can't stand her. She is unbelievably odd."
By CARSON BLACK
MODERATE union leader John Ellis today puts his job on the line by speaking out against the Militants who are plotting to drive him out.
For six tortuous months Mr Ellis, general secretary of the Civil and Public Services Association, has fought a losing battle against Militant Tendency mobsters who grabbed control of the union In April.
Today he comes out In the open and says "I've had enough."
He names the sinister six who masterminded the takeover of Britains biggest Civil Service union.
Ellis says "I'm fighting a rearguard action alI the time."
"It is a personal struggle and I feel constantly under pressure. "But I'll never give in to their lunatic rantings."
Mr Ellis, 49, talks openly about the bitter campaign to oust him from his £26,000-a-year job as leader of the 150,000-strong CPSA.
He says: "At every meeting I get a lot of verbal abuse. They try to goad me all the time."
"They will take every opportunity to try to discredit me with the membership."
"They never stop. They are always plotting."
"They aren't like the rest of us. They don't know about things the normal person enjoys like holidays, a quiet night in the pub, or whatever."
"They have a blind adherence to their stale political dogma and can't think of anything else."
"All they want is a revolution to create an extreme Left-wing dictatorship in this country."
Yorkshireman Ellis spent 19 years working his way up in the CPSA, which represents clerks In social security offices, JobCentres and other Government offices.
But then Militant supporters took control of the CPSAs all-powerful executive committee. Everything is now stacked against Ellis and his band of moderates. The executive has to sanction everything the union does. So far the hard-line Lefties have:
- BANNED him talking to the Press without their say so.
- SNATCHED away his union car.
- SLASHED his 1987 pay rise fmm £1,200 to £300.
- GAGGED him at the TUC conference.
- BARRED him from sitting on the TUC General Council.
On Monday, Ellis had a meeting with one of the leading Militants, John Macreadie, whom he beat In the election for general secretary.
MacCreadie had won the ,flrst workplace ballot but the result was scrapped because of "irregularities".
Ellis, who describes himself as a Neil Kinnock supporter, said: "I told him we were stuck with each other for five years and we'd bloody well haveto get on and stop tugging in different directions."
"He said he hoped we'd get on OK. But I know it will be a struggle."
" I am the victim of a determined campaign to get me out. Cutting my pay and taking away my car Is just madness."
"The Militants got into power by seIIing popular policies-higher pay, more holidays and Job security."
" Anyone can get elected on blind promises like that."
Grand PFLCPSA Spot Your Faction Competition
The NEC, as part of their general service to those members confused as to which faction they support, have agreed to sponsor the PFLCPSA Spot Your Faction competition. An honest response to each question will give a certain indicator of your faction, and which way you should vote!
1) CPSA General Secretary John Ellis has been invited to your next Branch meeting. Do you:
a) Go to heckle, hiss and boo the Great man's every word.
b) Go and ask some awkward and pointed questions so that those at the meeting will remember you and give you their votes at the next EEC election.
c) Go to give the Great Man your undying support in the next NEC election.
d) Ask yourself, "Who the hell is this Ellis person?" and go to the pub for a quick half.
You read a report in the Daily Mail that says John Ellis has had his official car taken away by the NEC. Do you think:
a) Leftie bastards! How is the Great Man going to get to St. Tropez for his summer holidays now.
b) Oh shit! I agree with this but how can I appear to support the Great Man so that I don't lose votes in the next BEC election.
c) Who? Oh that Ellis. What's wrong with the second-hand Volvo I sold him last week.
d) Great! Now I can ponce a lift home from Conference off Macreadie.
3) The June (2) edition of Red Tape (which you receive at the beginning of August) carries an article explaining why the NEC has given £15,000 towards the cost of building a heated bus shelter for single parent mentally handicapped Black lesbians in Islington. You write a letter to the editor expressing:
a) Your total opposition to this appalling waste of members money at a time when the previous General Treasurer's golden handshake is still owing.
b) Your total support for this magnificent gesture towards the downtrodden victims of Thatcherite oppression.
c) Your feeling that while these people should be supported, the actual amount is excessive and a smaller sum (say £15) would be more appropriate, because you hope members of your Branch will read the letter and vote for your obvious commonsense at the next BEC election.
d) Your bewilderment as to why this Les person could not have been given the car recently taken from the General Secretary.
4) You fail to get elected to your BEC by only 11 votes. Do you:
a) Hire a solicitor and try to get the whole election rerun.
b) Think that perhaps you should have suggested only donating 15p to the heated bus shelter.
c) Accept that this is the will of the membership and be thankful that your friend got the job of Branch Scrutineer for next year.
d) Find yourself completely bemused because you didn't realise you were standing in the first place.
5) The BBC coverage of the TUC reveals that the booing and hissing of John Ellis is being co-coordinated by the CPSA delegation. Do you react by thinking:
a) How disgraceful!
b) How disgraceful. It should have been louder. You could still hear him.
c) If those silly sods don't shut up we'll never get to the bar for lunch.
d) What does TUC stand for?
6) A collection is organised at your office for a South African detainee. Do you:
a) Put in all your small change hoping that your colleagues will be impressed and vote for you at the next BEC election.
b) Put in all your small change knowing that it only amounts to 27p.
c) Put in a cheque for £50, making sure that everyone sees you do it, knowing that it will bounce at the bank.
d) Go to the toilet.
7) Martin Smith is sacked by the Passport Office. Do you:
a) Call an all out strike in sympathy.
c) Write a long letter to Martin Smith explaining that you have no sympathy with him
because it was all his fault.
d) Try to find South Africa in your atlas.
8) You wish to drum up support for your faction in your branch. Who do you invite to be guest speaker at your A.G.M?:
a) Kate Losinska
b) John Ellis
c) John Macreadie
d) The Easter Bunny
9) The OPSA is £500,000 in the red. Do you blame:
a) The General Treasurer.
b) The previous General Treasurer
c) The NEC
d) The pub over the road from Union HQ
10) You are chosen as Branch delegate to Annual Conference, and receive an expenses cheque for £275. You decide to donate 10% to a worthy cause. Do you give it to:
b) The fraternal delegate from the Soviet Trade Unions
c) The Derek Hatton "Werkin Class" defence fund
d) The "French mistress" who advertises in the corner shop.
1) a - 5 b - 4 c - 2 d - 1
2) a - 3 b - 4 c - 1 d - 5
3) a - 2 b - 4 c - 3 d - 1
4) a - 3 b - 4 c - 5 d - 1
5) a - 2 b - 5 c - 3 d - 1
6) a - 3 b - 2 c - 5 d - 1
7) a - 5 b - 4 c - 2 d - 1
8) a - 5 b - 3 c - 4 d - 2
9) a - 5 b - 4 c - 2 d - 1
10) a-3 b - 4 c - 5 d - 2
If you scored:
12 - 20 Democratic Moderate
21 - 30 Moderate
31 - BL 84
45 - 50 Broad Left
Dear Mr. Johansson
We have been overwhelmed by the response to our appeal for volunteers willing to consider donating bone marrow. We would like to convey our warmest thanks to you, as one of the many thousands of public-spirited people who have responded positively during the first few weeks of the appeal.
As you will be aware, the rapid development of transplant techniques over the last decade has given new life to hundreds of thousands of patients worldwide, who otherwise would love died. Transplants of hearts, lungs and kidneys have become almost routine operations.
In particular our own Renal Surgery Unit (RSU) at Southmead Hospital has come to be regarded as the top kidney transplant centre in the UK. As a natural extension of the expertise developed in the RSU we have, the Last year opened an addition unit for the transplant of testicles (the TTU), an operation which was first perfected less than five years ago. It has long been well known that the removal of a kidney causes the remaining kidney to grow to twice the size and thereby work as effectively as the original pair. It has recently been found that the same applies to testicles.
To overcome infertility in men we have been working, in parallel with the artificial insemination programme, on a testicle replacement programme. We are therefore looking for potential donors.
As a potential bone marrow donor we feel certain that you will, in addition be willing to donate a testicle.
The Operation is very simple and will be carried out without general anaesthetic, using a bread knife and a pair of nutcrackers. You would not normally be called upon to give a donation more than twice.
Dr. U. Nuck
JACKIE TENNYSON, resident Ugandan Affairs correspondent to the National Bored Left Secretary MARTIN JENKYNS, has been having a funny time of late. Her Official Duties were staff inspected and found to be non-existent. No other division in the building was willing to take her. Management offered her a post in another building. MOD section advised her to take it, as she could walk into the vacant post of Branch Secretary. She was willing to go, but then JENKYNS, guardian of the workers rights, intervened.
He told her that any attempt to move her would obviously be victimisation, and that if she accepted a transfer she would be guilty of class collaboration. At this the diminutive MENDICANT MENSHEVIK informed her management that she would not move. Management instructed her to move and on getting a refusal, threatened her with the sack. She then moved.
Once at her new workstation, management docked her 2 weeks pay for unauthorised absence from her post. They also hauled her before a disciplinary tribunal. BRIAN STURTEVANT, Savile Row's representative at CPSA HQ, did the customary backroom deal to minimise the penalty, only to hear the MOD "prosecutor" announce the deal - "Admonition" as "being agreed beforehand with Mr. Sturtevant". MENDICANT are currently screaming foul and demanding young Brian's head.
Which is a pity, because BRIAN is currently fighting to save the job of BRIAN LEACH, who made the mistake of taking on a Branch Secretary's job while still on probation. Despite repeated warnings that his union work was affecting his official work, and could lead to the sack, our hero kept at it. His Regional Secretary, PETER O'BRIEN took up the case and got nowhere. Finally, when the sack actually came, gallant STIJETEVANT was brought in. He prepared a brilliant case against MOD sacking a Branch Secretary, only to find that the lad had resigned his Union positions three weeks previously. Our Brian has however still managed to get the case to an Industrial Tribunal, despite the 2-year rule not being met.
His reward for this was a censure motion from JACKIE TENNYSON and her robot BEC for not having prevented the termination. For some reason, there has been no censure on PETER O'BRIEN, the Regional Secretary who was in charge of the case from the beginning with such singular lack of success. This strange omission has no connection with the fact that JACKIE TENNYSON, BRIAN LEACH and PETER O'BRIEN are all fellow Mensheviks. Equally, their politics have no relevance to the fact that Tennyson and Leach are lined up for 1-year secondment to CPSA HQ as Assistant National Organisers, to stimulate recruitment in MOD!
DE CAUCUS ANNUAL REPORT 1987
1) DE Section Conference/Elections
In the summary to last year's Annual report, we concluded that with commitment and organisation we would "assume our rightful place at the head of the Broad Left and the DE Section". The successes we have had at Conference and in the elections is the measure of how far we have gone towards matching up to the tasks we set ourselves in the past year. Without doubt, the work the cdes. have done in 1986 has gone a long way towards enabling us to reach these goals.
On the surface, the Section election results could be interpreted as a disappointment. However, when put in perspective, they mark another step forward and provide a solid basis for further gains next year. In total, the Broad Left made 5 gains. We now have 4 BL supporters on the SEC plus we took Vice-Chair and Editor. This compares with a solitary SEC member last year. Apart from our successes, we also came close to victory in the elections for Chair and VETG Asst. Sec. Last year, our candidate for Chair lost by almost 1,500 votes. This year we lost by 189 votes. We lost the VETG position by 45 votes.
Broad Left also made 2 gains in the elections for Scrutineers. These are elected by block vote at Conference. The margin between our candidate and those of BL'84 was around 1,000; i.e. if we win over 3 medium sized Branches we will take all the Scrutineer positions and be in a position to win a place on the standing Orders Committee. The election of BL Scrutineers was an important step forward. This will ensure all the votes are counted in a proper and fair manner next year!
Elections aside, we once again had a great deal of success in raising our ideas and winning support for them on the Conference floor. Amongst the more important debates, the SEC was defeated on Staffing, TRES, Availability Testing and Ethnic Monitoring. However, we didn't get things all our own way - the SEC gained victories on RESTART, participation in TRES surveys and on JTS.
2) Broad Left Organisation
The Broad Left is now in a stronger position than it has ever been in DE - even including before the BL split. We now have approximately 135 paid-up members, evenly divided between 1986 and 1987. In addition, there are several other people who are yet to pay either 1986 or 1987 subs - giving a potential membership of around 150.
There have been 2 significant developments over the past year: (a) the development of BL caucuses in a number of our stronger Branches, (b) the recruitment of new BL members in Branches where we previously had no influence. This bodes well for the future both for BL and for our caucus. With good BL organisation, we will be in a better position to make further gains both at Conference and in the elections. Second, most of the new recruits are non-aligned. This opens up great prospects for further developing the size and influence of our caucus if we work correctly.