COMMITTEE OF PUBLIC SAFETY
A recent communiqué from the Falange Headquarters in Bal-a-Ham indicated that all is not well in the negotiations between CPSA & CSD on a national New Technology Agreement. In true Falange fashion, however, the truth was not told: questions were not answered. The Committee of Public Safety now supplies the answers. THE PEOPLE WILL HAVE THE TRUTH. DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF FREE SPEECH!
Ali ben gRaham, Falange mouthpiece masquerading as NEC of CPSA, has found a crock of posts at the end of his particular rainbow. One of the most golden of these posts is supremo of the national new technology committee. As such, he is responsible for CPSA talks with CSD on the subjects of computers, microprocessors, job losses, productivity bargaining etc etc. His highest achievement to date has been in the P&T Group, where be sold out 300 jobs for 87p per week each.
However, Ali ben gRaham has never been one to let work stand in the way of a good time, and he has always been alert to the possibilities of enjoyment. Like many of his tribe, the mythical Geordie, he is very interested in politics, and has made a particular study of the politics of East Africa, especially Uganda. Thus, for example, in his dealings with the Foreign Office Branches, he spent some considerable time talking about Uganda with a nubile blonde clerk, Liesl Fischer.
Imagine then, if you will, the unbounded joy experienced by Ali ben gRaham when he discovered that his counterpart on the CSD) side shared his interests. This counterpart is a dark-haired specimen of the tribe of Pict, one Eli en Con, she-of-the-drawn-back- veil, who, like so many of her tribe from the north, have abandoned the religious precepts of her tribe, and fallen into English ways. Sad to relate, one of the customs of the South she has adopted is the desire to discuss the politics of East Africa at every conceivable opportunity.
Encouraged by the blandishments of Ali ben gRaham, she very soon became quite eager to share her knowledge, and pool her experiences, with the Falange philanderer. But, as so frequently happens in these sad cases, Ali ben gRaham soon tired of her conversations, which she wished to pursue long after he had fallen silent.
It should be pointed out at this stage that the dastard had invited her to CPSA Annual Conference at Brighton, as a CSD Observer, but soon thereafter her visits to the Falange Lubianka at Bal-a-Ham became too frequent for Ali ben gRaham's liking. `Please, you have exhausted the sum total knowledge of my brain on Uganda', he begged her. `You have no more to hear from me'.
The door keepers of the Bal-a-Ham Mosque, and of the Holy Archives in Nigh-Tin-Gal, have been ordered by Ali ben gRaham that Eli en Con is to be considered persona non grata, and ejected from the premises if she enters the most sacred hallways. The telephone operators are under instruction to inform her that Ali ben gRaham is `at prayer', should she call.
Which leaves as in the position where we have to ask ourselves whether or not Ali ben gRaham has suffered a conflict of interest. As a dealer (sic) with CSD, can he be involved in Ugandan conversations with a member of CSD management? As a dealer with CSD, can he be involved in an ongoing disintegrating liaison situation with a member of CSD management? Can he have the CSD's chief negotiator thrown out, and not expect negotiations to take on a different slant?
The Committee of Public Safety says DEATH TO THE FALANGE! DEATH TO THE INFIDEL!
AN END TO ALL ADULTERERS! MICROCHIPS TO THE WALL! NO SELL OUT! NO JOB LOSS! DEATH TO THOSE WHO TRAVEL IN CONSORT WITH POLES, DONKEYS, ASSES, LITHUANIANS AND ALL OTHER UNCLEAN SPECIES! LONG LIVE THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION! LONG LIVE THE COMMITTEE OF PUBLIC SAFETY!