Only the 3 days of Civil Service and National Conference were reported. Section Conferences were not reported on at this time.
A military spokesman of the General Command said that the time has now come to reveal the full extent of the secret Phalange group within CPSA. For many years we have suffered the machinations of this group which has masked its activities under various pseudonyms. Comrades of the PFLCPSA infiltrated the Jim Conway Foundation Memorial School, where there were indoctrination sessions by top Phalange men on the following agenda;
DAY 1: The role of the Catholic Action Group in CPSA (lead speaker - John Raywood)
DAY 2: How to win control of the CPSA, and then keep control. (Charles Elliott in the chair)
Phalange activities at CPSA Conference reached their climax yesterday when their agents successfully sabotaged the Civil Aviation Authority Conference, resulting in its abandonment. Reliable sources inform us that the reason for this was to prevent delegates from debating Motion 12, giving full support to and affiliating to the PFLCPSA, which would have obviously been carried overwhelmingly by the progressive and patriotic forces in CAA. Our comrades are at this moment tracking down the saboteurs.
THE BEIRUT CONNECTION
Our penetration of the Phalange has led us to the source of the vast amounts of wealth pouring into Phalange funds and thus financing their nefarious activities in CPSA. One of our agents fearlessly tracked a well-known CPSA NEC member halfway across the globe to Beirut in Lebanon, where, cosseted in a luxury hotel, the traitor was instructed as to his next task. The traitor then flew on to Riyadh in Saudi Arabia where he was seen to enter the United Saudi Bank and leave a few minutes later with two heavy bags. Subsequent, intelligence work proved that each bag contained 5kg of pure gold, all destined to finance the Phalanges clandestine propaganda and indoctrination work.
It is for this reason comrades, that the PFLCPSA has been forced to broaden the scope of our activities within CPSA and to widen the circulation of our Communiqués by publishing them in English as well as in Arabic..
MIRROR OF REALITY
Delegates may like to note that on their left as they enter the Brighton Centre there are two large mirrors. Or rather they are not mirrors but two- way mirrors behind which sit security thugs in a room bristling with electronic apparatus and filming equipment.
But don't simply trust the PFLCPSA word, go up to the mirror and see for yourself. So every delegate is not only checked for his pass, but also screened by the security thugs and put on film as well.
THE ISLAMIC LEFT - "Prayers not Politics
It is well known-what peace of mind can only come from understanding on God the Compassionate, the Merciful and his prophet, blessings and peace be upon him.
Unfortunately this has not been reflected in the Broad Left. This has led to the formation of the Islamic Left by the faithful. -
Our immediate demands take the form of a three-point programme, which is as follows:
1) Fight for the Right to Pray.
2) Defend the Right to Pray.
3) Friday, the Day of the Mosque, to be a public holiday.
ACTIVE SERVICE REPORT
Forward Combat Units 12 and QL126 on Monday, carried out daring midnight raids on The Queens Hotel and the Old Ship, where important Phalange documentation was liberated.
Forward Commando Bloc Martyr Davie McClymont last night carried out an important if rather smelly raid on an infidel gathering called The Mayors Balls. This gathering was offensive in the sight of God and the Mayor and Corporation of Brighton have accordingly been declared Enemies of God.
The General Command has issued a notice denying the rumours currently circulating that strident voiced Alistair Graham is shortly to be executed by a Forward Combat Unit. This is in spite of thehundreds of demands that have been flooding into our office in the Queens Hotel that the supreme penalty be paid by Graham forthwith.
He has in fact still to face a Peoples Islamic Court. This will be a fair and just trial where he will be `invited to plead either guilty or very guilty, and then, and only then, will he be shot.
The PFLCPSA is now able to reveal why Ken Thomas, Alistair Graham and Ayatollah Losinska were out of the. room during the crucial debate on Notion 860 dealing with New Technology, As Ken Thomas stated, they had to deal with important Association business from Headquarters.
What he did not state was the reason for this urgent consultation. What happened is the most daring move yet staged by the PFLCPSA: our heroic commandoes of the Unit Martyr Davie McClymont took over CPSA HQ at Balham and turned it into a temporary revolutionary headquarters. The staff at Balham were thrown out. They reconvened in a nearby pub and telephone box where they rang the top table in Conference via Tony Bakers hot line (due for sabotage later!) The PFLCPSA salutes this heroic deed and urges all delegates to send congratulatory messages to us via any of the Diggers. (If you don't know any Diggers then you are just not an in person because this is an in-joke.)
BIRTHDAY HONOURS LIST
Delegates may like to note that Phil James, delegate from DTI Ashdown is 86 today. From all of us in the PFLCPSA we extend our warmest congrats to Phil, one of the most stalwart and boring of all the Roddy Klones.
You'll have your own opportunity to show your appreciation of Phil James though, as Phil is having a wild party open to all delegates at his lodgings, with as much booze as you can drink and as much food as you can eat. Please see Phil James for further details.
REDDER TAPE GOES PINK
It has come to the notice of PFLCPSA tactical Command that the much loved Redder Tape Daily Bulletin issued by Mike 'Namby Pamby' Healy has undergone a disturbing change of colour. While the Daylight rag remains consistently yellow, a reflection of their politics) Redder tapes bulletin is now also trying to reflect its politics by being first green and then pink.
DIRECT ACTION CORNER
An attempt is to be made by some amusing persons to set up a branch of Conservative trade unionists within CPSA. We therefore announce that they will be meeting at 1:00 today in the Foyer by the Post Office counter. We leave the rest to you.
Pious greetings once more delegates as we go into the final day of Conference, and the final battle against the Red Menace.
Conference, at last the secret is out. By their spiteful booing at Ken Thomas after his heroic stand of a round of drinks to the Evening Standard reporter, and their vicious attacks on our leader in that noble bastion of the Free Press the self same Evening Standard, these cowardly Bolsheviks have shown themselves up to be what they really are - damned pinkos and commies of the lowest order.
In some ways delegates, it is a shame that we have to sit in the same hall with the likes of these Reds -they should be kept locked up in their own tiny party Headquarters where they could rant to themselves and each other to their hearts content. However, we urge all delegates to show the sort of forbearance and tolerance that characterises this great nation of ours, and to be upright, decent and gentlemanly at all times. That is the only thing the pinkos can't stand..
By the tiny margin of 20 seats to 6 seats, the extreme left wing Socialist Workers Party dominated trot front, the so- called `Broad Left' have managed to take control of the NEC. Fear not, delegates, these dirty, unwashed long haired layabouts who have never done a decent days work in their life will soon be exposed before the membership whom they conned into voting for them, unless of course they rigged the ballot, which seems jolly, knowing that rabble; it seems a pity that the whole lot of them can't be stuck on a train and shipped right back to Russia where they belong.
All NEC meetings will in future be convened in or near a law court, so as to save time, when the solicitors are called in.