While SERWOTKA and BRYSON battle it out down south, north of the border Christmas has come that wee bit early with the departure of EDDIE REILLY to wherever clapped-out old SECRET LEFTERS go when it's time to pick up their juicy retirement cheques.

The former high-caste SOCIETY supremo fired one last parting shot by banning meetings in the Edinburgh or Glasgow offices until further notice. Apparently, this is because of a lack of staff and the meeting rooms are to be available at all times for the 'make your vote cringe' campaign. 

No one quite knows why PCS branch meetings and the union's training courses can't be accommodated for the weeks of the democracy slug-out or why staffing has suddenly become an issue, unless of course it's a cunning plan from the big man of Scottish union politics to bolster Scotland's bid for additional staff in the current management review.

But the high spot was the Scotland Committee AGM last October where the dynamic duo, EDDIE REILLY and JOY DUNN (affectionately known as the "has been and the lesbian"), were desperate to put on a good show for guest speaker MARK SERWOTKA and his Welsh compatriot JEFF EVANS.

The usual derisory attendance was bolstered by combining the regional CSCS campaign meeting resulting in a massive turnout of some 100 reps. Both Taffies were suitably impressed.

In a masterstroke of spiteful ineptitude, EVANS was only given five minutes from the all day meeting to introduce himself and his plans for his new colony. He didn't even have time to tell them he was twinning them with Northern Ireland which would have gone down well with both sides of the tribal and sectarian divide in the west of Scotland .

JEFF was his usual 'they say cut back, we say fight back' self.  He gave the ubiquitous single-transferable speech inserting 'compensation scheme' in place of last month's 'job cuts'. Meanwhile REILLY had set JOY up to give the first of many farewell speeches for him. Fortunately for us she didn't bother turning up. Apparently she was too busy planning her imminent nuptials though some wags say she was getting her monobrow sorted out to try to stop SUSAN BOYLE fans asking for her autograph.

In her absence MAREK was drafted in to say the usual platitudes about the old git. He was only a couple of minutes into the warm mushy words when, to everyone's surprise and embarrassment, REILLY broke down in tears, sobbing like a Stalinist at the fall of the Berlin Wall.  Theembarrassment was tangible.  A quick manoeuvre by his PA, FIONA LOW , and his successor designate, LYNN HENDERSON, leaping to their feet and clapping wildly saw most of the assembled throng shuffle from their seats to give EDDIE a less than fulsome standing ovation. There was at the back of the room a phalanx who either remained seated or who stood but with their hands by their sides - among them the rest of the PCS Scotland staff.

MAREK was less than pleased as this was to be his platform to launch his re-election campaign in Scotland . He was said to be furious at being upstaged by the very man who's backside he saved when his staff were revolting.

Also put out were most of the non DWP branches after EDDIE told them that they had a duty to re-elect MAREK. Some were livid that a full timer should tell them who to vote for and one or two are threatening to complain to JANICE, though much good it'll do them.

The coronation of LYNN HENDERSON is believed to be imminent but MAREK is now worried about how it will affect his election as Scotland is top heavy with NEC members desperate for the job. Competition comes from practically every member of the staff vying for the job. It appears HENDERSON 'S popularity is a little fragile to say the least among her presumptive subordinates. 

Though the quest to promote women to more senior positions was seen as reinforcing her meteoric rise, some grandees are now said to have different ideas. The Solidarity faction in LUNITY (JANICE and DANNY and Mr and Mrs ALAN BROWN to name a few) want to cement their political control by gaining organisational control of PCS Scotland.

Of course ALAN BROWN will want to throw his hat into the ring as there's never a vacancy he doesn't chase but it seems that DANNY WILLIAMSON is being touted as an interim Scottish Secretary. MR JANICE hasn't got long to go himself and he wants a final accolade to his undistinguished union career before he follows REILLY'S footsteps into the ranks of the Civil Service Pensioners' Association. And a stop-gap that blocks Madame HENDERSON would suit Mrs ALAN BROWN, the immensely ambitious, pouting CHERYL GEDLING.

CHERYL also ticks many of the right boxes, especially gender, so she'd neutralise that line of attack from the HENDERSON camp.  She's one to watch though maybe not this time but in a LU double-whammy she could replace DANNY if he was elevated and then do the same again when he retires.

This is the guest list for Eddie Reilly's leaving bash (apologies to your scrolling finger, can't be arsed with presentation) on Thursday 26th November in a pub near Glasgow Central Station. It's the usual crowd - old comrades from old Commissar Party days; the grandees of the Scottish union movement and the has-beens and the wannabees of PCS. But can you spot the notable omissions especially from current NEC in Scotland and staff?

PCS Scotland Officials and Staff

Present

Fiona Low

Lynn Henderson & Dave

Kevin McIver

Evelyn McKechnie

Jude Ritchie

Norma Webster

Danny Williamson & Janice

Past

Pat Kelly

 Scottish Government Group

Present

Joy Dunn & Jo

John Bissett

Anne Buchanan

Malcolm Clark

Bill Combe

Larry Di Stefano

Isobel Drummond-Murray

Fiona McDonald

Scott Murray

John Nicholls

George Reid

John Watson

Jennifer Young

 Past

Sandy Boyle

Sandy Cameron

Davy Clater

Chris Kerr

Len Morris & Maureen

Norman Murray & Angela

Jim Patton

STUC Officials

Stephen Boyd

Kevin Buchanan

Ann Henderson

Margaret Reid

Graham Smith

Ian Tasker

STUC Staff

Helen Carson

Liz Ferguson

Pauline Walker

Sandra Walker

STUC General Council

Jackson Cullinane

Anne Douglas

Harry Frew

Mike Kirby

Phil McGarry

Katrina Murray

John Quigley

Roddy Robertson

Hugh Scullion

Matt Smith

Agnes Tolmie

Past

Campbell Christie

Liz Elkind

Others

Brian Filling

Rozanne Foyer

Paul Holleran

John McDonald

Jimmy Reid

Ken Ross

Bob Thompson

PCS Scotland Committee

Tam Dolan

inc Scottish Activists

John Jamieson

inc other TUs etc

Gerry McMahon

Ian McNeill

Others

Paul Noon

Jonathan Baume

Steve Atkins

Jim Caldwell

Dave Penman

Andy Colgnori

Carolyn Dow

Hamish Drummond

Irene Elliott

Pat Feeney

Colm McConnell

Frank McGuire

Patrick McGuire

Steve Quigley

Marilyn Riddle

John Ross

Chris Sandilands

Margaret Boyle

John Rhodes

Political cadre

Ken Cameron

Jim Devine

George Galloway

John McAllion

PCS

 Ofelina Allen

Chris Baugh

Frank Campbell

Pat Campbell

Leslie Christie

Dave Cliff

Charlie Cochrane

Tony Conway

Julian Dodds

Peter Donellan & Jen

Chris Duffield

Chris Easterling

Colin Edwards

Jeff Evans

Steve Farley

Norma Hartle

John Hickey

Hugh Lanning & Fiona

Geoff Lewtas & Glenys

Lorraine Lydon

Sheila McDonald

Liz Pemberton & Bob

Steve Preston & Veronica

John Sheldon

Eddie Spence

Dave Wilkinson

Janet Woods

Whatever you may think about REILLY, "underhand" and "manipulative" don't tell the full story. Chuckles and mirth greeted the news that Scottish Organiser, JUDE RICHIE, had named his new baby daughter Che.  But the best response was from his erstwhile boss, Eddie Reilly, who intoned: "What a fucking prat".  Indeed.

How wretched is the person who hangs on by the favours of the powerful

Robert Burns

1769 - 1796

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