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ROUND AND ABOUT
by Judas Iscariot 05/07/00

The ballot papers are going out this week and we're all set for the great factional bloodbath to begin. BARRY has drawn back from issuing an injunction to stop the referendum opting to apply for a ruling in the Chancery Division of the High Court on his constitutional and contractual position. RAMSBLADDER believes that transitional rule C19 gives him the right to continue as sole general secretary when SHELDON buggers off and allows him to carry on past his five-year term until he retires in 2004. The Great Scot has got the backing of the GMB, which runs the full-time officers association -- and the NUJ for what that is worth.

But this has done nothing to deflect ME FIRST from their campaign to replace him. The "CAMPAIGN FOR A GENERAL SECRETARY ELECTION" has been launched which looks remarkably like the "LANNING 2000" committee. LES PRIESTLEY is President, DONELLAN and SARAH JONES are the sponsors and good old BOB BOWMAN is the Campaign Coordinator. Of course there will be a massive yes from those who bother to vote for all the proposals but ME FIRST has no certainty of a LANNING victory. Outside the august halls of Falconcrest their man is barely known - even amongst their own high-caste constituency. BARRY on the other hand is known by all and hated by many.

And there's the rub. ME FIRST want to stampede the TROTS behind a LANNING bandwagon which is still largely a figment of UNDY'S imagination. And they don't look like playing ball. They know there's nothing in it for them. LANNING is, after all only a more urbane version of RAMSBLADDER - and LEFT UNITY'S current position on the NEC as kingpin depends simply on them playing off the two big right-wing blocs against each other because neither dinosaur can get a majority without RED votes. They also know that UNDY'S game-plan is to smash the Moderati leadership so that ME FIRST can then take the MODS over and create one big block - under his guidance - which will run the union forever and a day. This would leave the TROTS at his mercy - and they saw what he did to the SECRET LEFT when he got the chance in the past. Fielding their own candidate, some argue, will stake out their claim to be the only real alternative to the Moderati and Me First.

If RAMSBLADDER wins, so what - he's only got a few years to go anyway whereas LANNING hopes to hold the post until retirement. At the moment the opinion polls - taking a sample of officials found in Yates Wine Bar, The Meyrick and the Falcon on three consecutive Fridays - puts BARRY and LANNING neck and neck. Watch this space for further news. But before we close let's all give a big hand to those stalwart leaders of our union who have had their years of tireless work acknowledged in the honours list. While none have reached the dizzy heights of Diana Warwick, late of CPSA, who is now a "working peer" in the reformed House of Lords, the Revolutionary Command Council was ever so pleased to see that ALISTAIR GRAHAM has now got a knighthood - presumably for his excellent work on the Parades Commission in Northern Ireland. JOHN SHELDON got an OBE for "services" to the trade union movement and the great JAMES UNDY received an MBE (the sort of thing they dole out to lollipop men for 40 years service on zebra crossings) for his "services" to Industrial Relations in HSE. Everyone in HSE is denying nominating him though we understand from usually reliable sources that it is impossible to nominate yourself for a gong.

J Undy MBE as he is now known is immensely popular in his own department. Affectionately called "Herr Flick" by all his chums - at least behind his back - we are given to understand that he should now be addressed more formally as "Lord Flick" in future. BARRY will be lucky if he gets a Gold Badge the way things are going.

NEWS FROM THE SMOKE FILLED CYBERSPACE

By Barrabas

We all know (from "altpcs" - you are all signed up, aren't you?) that the CAMPAIGN FOR A GENERAL SECRETARY ELECTION bandwagon has "officially" announced its abortion into this world, with its "Campaign President" Les Ghastly and its "Campaign Sponsors" Peter Donnellan and Sarah Jones. So far, so predictable. But some contributors to altpcs are showing that whilst some wool is most acceptable, having it pulled over our eyes and shoved up our arses by the boss class to play clever clever political games ain't.

This is what Dave Goldsbrough wrote: "I can see that there are 2 named sponsors - which I understand to mean that it is these 2 people who are funding the Campaign from their own personal pockets? Are there any other sponsors? Will accounts be published? Or if not full accounts, will a statement be made stating how much money has been spent, at the end? Can PCS members expect those involved in the Campaign to be doing so in their own time and not any others? Please do not infer from my questions that I am a BR fan - some members not on this list I am sure will ask me similar questions - I just want to be able to answer them without guessing."

Well, Dave, don't hold your breath for any credible answers to these questions. Wouldn't it be fun if the funding was the same source used by the Moderati to fund their mailing. Realistically though, half a dozen high grades should be able to find enough disposable income to fund it. Anyway, I don't remember them advertising elections for these positions. By the way, isn't a BR fan a trainspotter? (Contributions along similar lines will be ignored.)

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MORE NEWS FROM THE SPACE FILLED SMOKE

by barrabas 08/07/00

I just went to have a look round the websites and what do I find? ME1STs website has been and gorn and done a complete runner. Turtley varnished it has. It has become an ex-website. They obviously think they don't need it. Well, Squire Undy, your highness, lemme explain a little known fact of life to you: if you want to make yourself heard, get www wise and organise yourself with a decent, informative (provocative if you like) website. Then you can run your pointless (to all but your small number of supporters) factional fight against the other political dinosaurs of PCS. The same goes for Barry's boys (and girls, and those to whom gender is not an issue). LUnity's site at least offers this. Enough rant, I'm bored. Bored enough to idly wonder if ME1ST have another secret website somewhere. Let's see what the search engines have to offer on MF....

http://politicalgraveyard.com/geo/GA/MF.html Executive Search agency specializing in the field of Advanced Communications.
http://www.mfbranch.com/ With the what I have gained in Scientology I have the tools to help me help others achieve their goals and dreams; because of Scientology I see them doing so well. http://home1.gte.net/mf/index.htm Fondle 'Em Records...Animal Pharm...MF Grimm...Siah/Yeshuah http://sandbox.pair.com/fondle Ministry of Finance of Slovenia. In English and Slovene http://www.sigov.si/mf/angl/index.html One of New York's underground newspapers http://mediafilter.org/mf/shadow/ Assistance in locating missing persons in Kosovo and the Balkins http://www.igc.org/balkans/MF-draft/english/eng.htm Al-Zawiyah Mosque Located on the lower reaches of Table Mountain in Cape Town and founded by the South African scholar Shaykh Muhammad Salih Hendricks. http://home.pix.za/mf/mfj1/ MotherfunKtion Funk/jazz/hip-hop/house band - and a booty-shakin' live experience. http://www.spectrumpacific.com.au/mf/index.html Low cost, low theft profile, insulated, sturdy, waterproof camera bags.
http://www.smu.edu/~rmonagha/mf/bags.html New from MF Software, comes Eat-o's 1.0, a new fast-action arcade game for the Macintosh This game features a cool soundtrack, smooth wrapping graphics, a full-featured level editor, relentless monsters and hours of fun.
http://www.alberts.com/authorpages/00013317/prod_549.htm Information on Polycythemia Vera (PV), Essential Thrombocythemia (ET), Agnogenic Myeloid Metaplasia (AMM), Myelofibrosis (MF), Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS), Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia (CML).
http://www.acor.org/diseases/hematology/MPD/ . Epinions.com - Nakamichi MF Product Family Join Now | Login | Top | Help. Write an Opinion. Express your opinion.Write a Review! Love It / Hate It. Feel strongly about this item? Add it to... URL:
www.epinions.com/elec_Car_Stereo-CD_and_...roductFamilyily . MF access Besten dank für Ihren Besuch. Besuchen Sie unsere Hompage macfriends.ch. Bis bald "Gueti Zyt" Kaiserstuhlstrasse 56. 8172 Niederglatt. Tel 01/851 00... URL:
www.access.ch/private-users/macfriendsag/ This last one especially for Obergruppenfuhrer Flick MBE. Now I'm really bored. And boring. bibi.

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ROUND AND ABOUT

by Judas Iscariot 15/07/00

The sun has got his hat on and most of us are packing for our summer hols. The low-grades are dreaming of their caravan or Benidorm, the high-castes are packing for Tuscany and Corfu. But in the seedy bars that surround Falconcrest the only packing is of knives ready for the back-stabbing to come. UNDY and his minions are eagerly awaiting the outcome of the referendum. They know it'll be "yes" to everything but they want a good turn-out to kick-start the LANNING campaign.

The Moderati have confined themselves to sniping at what they say is a waste of members' money snug in the belief that BARRY'S court referral will kill an adverse outcome stone-dead. That remains to be tested but if RAMSBLADDER'S argument is upheld the only recourse would seem to be the unusual step of calling a special rules revision conference to amend the rules again to overcome the Great Scot's objections. But if another amendment was passed that too would have to go to membership ballot under the constitution ME FIRST drew up with the Moderati in the first place.

Election or not the knives are already being brandished in the RED camp. The former Militants now calling themselves the Socialist Party are blocking demands from the Socialist Caucus to name a left GS candidate now. The Caucus is threatening to run one of their own if LEFT UNITY as a whole refuses as a whole to mount a challenge. Their always fragile alliance is currently at a low ebb.

LEON BAUGH and ALAN RUNSWICK are most unhappy at the Caucus' antics on the ES National Whitley which led to the defeat of one of their chosen sons at the hands of the Moderates. The main problem the Caucus has is trying to find anyone credible to make the exercise worthwhile. ROD BACON is too old and unattractive to fit the bill (so they say), he sometimes can't even get things through in his own branch. CHRIS FRAUD would set them back another decade. So the smart money is going on MAREK SERWOTKA, although no longer a member, whose 25 years of struggle could be wheeled out for the campaign. It may never happen. Few, even in the LUNITY camp, seriously believe that ME FIRST is going to give them any more favours in return for a vote BAUGH & RUNSWICK can't deliver. Even fewer want to be on the same platform as LANNING, let alone the remnants of UNITY. And none want to be out-flanked by the Caucus crowd.

Meanwhile back at the ranch there is an ominous silence over the election-inserts inquiry at Headquarters. The silk is naturally keeping mum until the report is presented but the laid-back response of BARRY'S BOYS suggests they have little to fear. This was apparent at GORDON'S birthday bash at YATES' last week. GORDON and the usual Scottish crowd together with the others who pose as his friends were in top form though Balloting Bill HICKEY let the side down when he attempted to leave and crashed into the door, fell over a table and then rolled the length of the pub. This was at 8.00 pm.

Finally a fond farewell to PAUL DYET. Apparently the ace press officer hired by Barry in 1998 to improve his image simply could not adjust to the 9 to 5 regime RAMSBLADDER demands and has gone to pastures new. No-one missed you.

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SMOKE FILLED NEWS FROM CYBERSPACE

by Barrabas 15/07/00

Things are livening up on altpcs ( whaddya mean you ain't signed up yet? Use the link on our homepage and do it NOW.) Questions to the KAMPAIGN KREW of ME1STERS about their true aims and objectives posed by barrabas and others are being met with a silence that speaks volumes, and some of their previous supporters are breaking ranks. They have admitted that the KAMPAIGN is being self-funded (see last barrabas) and that accounts will be published (now that will be useful!). So the bosses are self-funding a takeover of the union and you're going to let them?

The Popular Will of the Masses decrees NO to A195, not cos we like BLADDER but because we think the Odious UNDY MBE & KO are taking the piss out of the members. That's our job.

Purely for historical interest - it was last updated in 97, I've pasted this extract from http://www.cix.co.uk/~spuddy/factions.html, an old PTC site, methinks however that the song remains the same:

"Strictly speaking MF is not a faction. They are an electoral pact to win power and keep everyone out, i.e.They do not have a clearly worked programme. However, they have been the most successul grouping to date, controlling the NEC together with the Mainstream faction in the Revenue. There main base of strength is in the Customs & Excise group but also other smaller bits of the union such and the Public and Commercial Group and a base of supporters elsewhere. As such they represent as a broad group what used to be called New Realism."

The Trots too are rattled to finally realise that ME1ST are out to shaft them along with everybody who isn't one of them and resort to bluster and wet rhetoric and can't even agree among themselves: the LUNITY website carries an almost tearful plea to UNITY asking them to get in touch, the door is always open, blah blah. (Pass the sick bag). So a vote for A195 walks right into the ME1ST trap. Left Wing take note and bloody well WAKE UP.

Col. Islam's personal research into sleaze in and around Clapham Junction continues apace, and for our lucky readers this week we have the following free gift from "Lap Of The Gods", a dancing establishment so Col. Islam informs me, for you to print and use next time you're in the Metrollops. Email one to your boss! ( On second thoughts, don't - she might be in ME1ST)