Kids, beaches, ice-cream and cricket. Yes summer has come round again. The World Cup's been forgotten, apart from the vuvuzelas (a must-have for delegates to ADC 2011). We bask in Saharan temperatures in our tin lidded dugouts, pack up our troubles in our old kitbags and look forward to some well earned R&R. But the Sword of Damocles hangs over the trenches and nobody knows what the future will bring.

.least of all the NEC. At the first meeting of the newly elected national committee in June it was agreed to defer decisions on a new national campaign and work on joint campaigning with other unions to July when the ConDem government's true intentions would become clearer. The grandees were out in force but 4TM's Gang of Four was down one. Rob BRYSON willingly filled Di BREEN's place. Simon COLLIS surprisingly made an excellent contribution stating the union should be targeting the Liberal Democrats as the weak link in the coalition. This produced glances towards the PCS Democrat benches, packed with LibDem local councillors and much muttering from their group, though bizarrely enough the only intervention BRYSON made was to push the Zionist case when the Palestine Solidarity Campaign came up.

SERWOTKA is back home after his stay in hospital and recuperating by watching DVD's of the recent PCS national conference in Brighton, or so he says. He returned to work on a part-time basis in July and hopes to resume full-time work in September, but the ailing GS's authority has been severely undermined by his minions during his absence.

The first, but not the last straw, was during the World Cup when HR told the Falconcrest staff that if they wanted to watch the England match on the big screen in Room 4.1 they'd have to key out of the flexi system. Those who did flex out headed straight for the pub to watch England thrash Slovenia one nil as no alcohol was allowed in-house. Fair do's you might say but the staffers are grumbling because when OBAMA was inaugurated she provided access to the big screen and alcoholic refreshments and nibbles, apparently with the blessing of HUGH LANNING so that all could welcome the coronation of the leader of the FREE WORLD.

Ostensibly, the World Cup diktat also came from Acting Fuhrer HUGO (as it comes under his "international" brief), only it didn't as he wasn't even in the office - she was operating under her own steam. BOFF, who was in the office, was outraged - technically he's the ladybosses line manager, but he was completely stymied as the order appeared to come from the acting GS. I wonder what MARK will make of it.

He can hardly be amused by the new culture outside Falconcrest these days. At times regional offices have had problems with BNP or EDL riff-raff harassing staff. Now our own door people, in a cruel attempt to integrate into London style are taking a similar approach to Clapham Junction's finest. Only a few days ago one of the down-and-outs who hover around Clapham Junction station tried to panhandle one of our guardians of the gate.

The conversation went like this:

"can i have ten p please sur?"

"NO"

"please"

"NO"

"please....please...please"

"WHICH BIT OF FUCK OFF IS MOST DIFFICULT?"

Inside the Chateau paranoia reigns supreme as NIGEL PIERCE, the fat and useless Personnel Supremo, hunts for the PFL moles who have blackened his name. He sits in the canteen at lunch-time like Mr Creosote, stuffing himself with the subsidised fodder and glaring at all those he suspects of grassing him up.

It is reported that he found a XXXXXL Father Christmas outfit last Christmas and presided over a Secret Santa gift exchange though all he got was a "Lose weight, ask me how?" badge, but this is probably only hearsay as he was not observed wearing it.

The crackdown on expenses is another matter. Negotiations Officers who formerly put in a three month bid for past expenses now have to submit a weekly or monthly account or lose funds they've already paid out. Mind you, if they could afford to wait 3 months to be reimbursed, they're overpaid anyway.

To be fair some of the "Strategic Management Team" do not claim expenses at all. CHRIS BAUGH and MAREK do. HUGO lets some go but often puts in claims for "entertaining" which means buying drinks and meals for anyone in the media that might be prepared to push the PCS view - an old Fleet Street tradition, like gambling, that seldom pays but is hard to give up.

Now here's a game we can all play. Which former SMT grandee has not had a PCS retirement party? Here's a clue. Despite a (very) PC report to make us a more representative union with more emphasis on women and ethnic minorities this ex SMT member sits and waits for the invite to an all expenses (our subs) party 'like wot the blokes got'. (All answers will be treated in confidence).

In the meantime senior officers of UNITE & PCS are continuing unofficial exploratory talks. Is it a shadow dance or a serious step towards unity so that we can get our hands on their funds to solve our current financial problems?

Whatever, watch this space for a new PCS hardship fund, music concert/campaign/way forward to fight the Con Dems and regenerate our green campaigns. "Green" campaigns are not exactly flavour of the month with the Cameron/Clegg government and green issues have taken a media dive internationally after green guru Al Gore was accused of groping a masseuse last month - an allegation he has, incidentally, vigorously denied. Nevertheless, can we expect PCS to push for "green issues" with a political agenda as the new idea to mobilise the troops? Your guess is as good as anyone else's.

It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.

Niccolo Machiavelli

 Strangely strange, but oddly normal.

Dr Strangely Strange (1970) (try Youtube)

March to The Durham Miners Gala, 2010	In a break from tradition, Battery Sergeant "Shut up" Baugh and Gunner "Lofty" McHugh duet on Whispering Grass

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