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NEWS FROM THE SMOKE FILLED ROOMS
by Barrabas - March 2001

The Senior Officer team recently met to debate the question of who was to lead the pay campaign team in negotiations with the Treasury. ME1ST and LUnity had cobbled together one of their informal "accords" and put forward Sarah Jones/Janice Godrich to jobshare the post. Mr CURRY took objection to the stitch-up and loudly proclaimed that a position of such importance and magnitude should be filled by one befitting the role, none other than the President himself.

In fact, he made such a noise that he awoke the somnolent DONNELLAN, who having fuzzily enquired what the fuss was about, and enjoying the flattery lavished upon him by BUNTER, agreed wholeheartedly with the over effusive SCOT, and thus ensured that his protege SARAH will not benefit from any attendant limelight in the run-up to the Presidential Stakes next year. The TROTS aren't too happy, either - but they still won't learn about pacts with the right wing. FALCONCREST is currently boarding for a new canteen manager, they might have more luck applying for that.

At FALCONCREST, internal promotions and shuffles have been underway. One notable promotee to Assistant Sec is former (failed) BL'84 NEC candidate GRAHAM BEDCHAMBER; following a career that saw him move from the Passport Office to the 'Ome Orifice, join NUCPS on promotion, get a job with IRSF in Liverpool then move back to London to work at NUCPS HQ on "secondment" BEFORE they merged with IRSF.

BELCHERs celebration pissup (held jointly with the other recent promotees) at IPMS HQ in Waterloo saw the surrreal sight of ageing TROT Lothario JOHN McVICAR dancing whilst the former hammer of the TROTS crooned tunelessly into the Karaoke...

Meanwhile recent recruits to Negotiations Officer include UNISON Supremo RODNEY BICKERSTAFFE'S youngest son PHILIP...

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"VICTIMS OF OUR OWN SUCCESS - PHONE BOX TOO LARGE FOR MEETINGS"
Researched by Col. Islam

The following appeared in the WEEKLY WORKER 22/02/01

London Socialist Alliance
PCS backing


The London regional committee of the PCS civil servants' union has voted to support the aims and policies of the London Socialist Alliance. Barred by union rules to affiliate directly, this is the next best thing and marks yet another step forward for the alliance.

This, of course, follows the election of Socialist Alliance supporter Mark Serwotka as PCS general secretary.

This announcement at last Monday's LSA steering committee was warmly welcomed by all present. It was a sparsely attended meeting, with comrades acknowledging that in this period most SA work was being undertaken at the borough or constituency level, or at the all-England level for the general election.

"We are victims of our own success," said the Socialist Workers Party's Rob Hoveman. Having successfully established borough alliances through our positive experience in the elections to the Greater London Authority, the LSA's role has become one of monitoring developments, disseminating information and initiating all-London activities. In recognition of this, the steering committee decided not to meet again until the election is called (although this decision can be reversed, if necessary, by the officers or by one quarter of committee members).

The meeting heard a report-back from the extended SA Liaison Committee meeting held in Birmingham on February 17. Those who attended found the meeting useful.

I reported to the committee the fact that I was not allowed to present greetings from the LSA at the February 10-11 conference of the Scottish Socialist Party.

In response to a question regarding the status of the Welsh Socialist Alliance, Rob Hoveman reported that there is still time for the WSA to register or for the SA (England) to adjust its registration to allow for candidates in Wales to stand under our banner.

It seems as if the government's electoral commission is applying a benchmark of 16% of constituencies for parties to qualify for a TV election broadcast. This amounts to seven seats in Wales and 88 in England. However, it seems that the benchmark is the minimum requirement solely for BBC1/2 and ITV.

Only by uniting our forces under a common banner in Wales, England and Scotland could our combined seats reach the threshold for a general national broadcast on all channels.

Marcus Larsen
LSA chair (personal capacity)


Apropos nothing in particular, but a warning that computers do not necessarily see the world as we do, and how obsessed by sex they are. I was recently searching for a piece of music on MP3 by one of those modern beat combos "Jethro Tull" entitled "The story of the hare who lost his spectacles" (don't ask why) and was presented with this image. Although not what I wanted, I can't fault the logic. Those of a nervous disposition should look away now...