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ROUND AND ABOUT
An uneasy and unofficial cease-fire is still holding right across the front-line as the SERWOTKA command await the results of the legal action and MANAGEMENT snipers pick off union loyalists who poke their heads above the parapet. Everyone knows that a new 2004 pay offensive is on its way but no one knows when or where.
The DWP GEC met on 19 May to consider further action but frontline officers reported that it would be difficult to deliver a three or five day strike in the immediate future. So the GEC is going to wait until the PAY TEAM armistice commission meets on the 25th before considering further action.
There are serious divisions within the DWP Executive with the SOCIALIST CARCASS demanding full support for the victimised members and the LUNITY loyalists wanting to wait for the 2004 offensive for the next big push.
But real battles are now raging behind the lines to capture the senior full-time officer positions and control the NEC. The Moderati won a couple of skirmishes taking all nine seats in the National Appeals Committee ballot and cleverly managing to get their call to arms published in the candidates statements for the Conference elections.
The Magnificent Nine got a mighty 10,000-odd votes apiece – almost but not quite enough for an NEC seat. Sad to say, I did not recognise all the names but I’m sure that STUART CURRIE will be ready to tell them what to do if and when the Appeals Committee ever meets.
Not much to crow about Stuart. But enough to get LUNITY worried. They put up the BAT SIGNAL once the results were declared stating that there was “no room for complacency” and warning poetically that if the Moddies return “spring will end and winter will return”.
Well there’s not much chance of that this time round. For while it’s undoubtedly true that the Moderati have shed some of the baggage of the hated BARRY regime their perennial problem lies in the fact that their essential appeal is to civil servants who don’t want to go on strike. And unfortunately for the Moddies most of these people are not even in the union.
LUNITY and the UNDERLINGS look set for another year in office possibly with a slightly reduced majority but they’ve been rattled in the SFTO race by the STEEL & NEWLYNN campaign. The dynamic duo from Inland Revenue have put up a spirited campaign aided by a agency webmaster, hired hands to give out their leaflets and a dodgy email list. Realising that the LUNITY “Democratic” slate’s weakness was loathsome LANNING they focused all their efforts behind STEEL, hoping to bag the anti-HUGO vote from left to right. That’s why NOBODY says nothing about LEON BAUGH. STEEL, of course, is no different to LANNING – only slightly less successful. GRAHAM, who seems to have been IR Group Secretary since NOAH’S day, is an old right-wing MAINSTREAM bruiser. NOBODY is exactly as his name suggests and both of them are under the tutelage of the MAD MONK himself.
Meanwhile back in the real world JUSTICE FATTY COX has written to us to point out that the bench he metes out justice on is South East Northumberland and not “East Bedlington” as we suggested last month.
How he finds time to do all these things and serve as a JP is beyond me. This is the man who calls himself “BFGB” on his email address, which really does stand for BIG FAT GEORDIE BASTARD. Still that’s not surprising coming from NEWCASTLE, the town that gave us GAZZA, FIVE BELLIES, FRASER KEMP, VIZ and people like KEVIN McHUGH who think that falling down the stairs and cracking your ribs after having a skinful is a mark of virility.
Talking of Geordie comrades past, Father ROUSE (ex VP and spiritual advisor to MARION CHAMBERS and anyone who would buy him a drink), Monsignor AL GILLHESPIE (one-time Moderati nonentity on the NEC), PEGGY SMITH (ex Child Benefit Moderati Rottweiler), FATTY COX, FRANK the Blades and others met up for a sherbet or two in a pub in Newcastle the same night as the PURVIS retirement bash. Imagine their horror when DOREEN PERVERT entered the bar with some of her MENDICANT friends. Pleasantries were not exchanged.
Talking of which Father ROUSE managed to ponce a free CATHOLIC ACTION trip to the EU parliament in Strasbourg. Whilst waiting on the steps of the European parliament for their bus to take them to a nearby shrine, who should come and strike up a conversation. Why none other than ace Ulster bigot the Revd IAN PAISLEY MEP! Talk of piles being a pain for jockeys.