THE POPULAR FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF CPSA
FREEDOM! UNITY! SOCIALISM!
REVOLUTION UNTIL VICTORY!
ROUND & ABOUT
An ominous miasma hovers over the trenches as the faction bosses ponder their next moves on the eve of the GS handicap hurdle.
BARRY, of course, is smiling. He's filled his boots with a pay-off beyond the dreams of Croesus - if not KEN GILL. The Great Scot can now look forward to two years of idle bliss improving his handicap or scrabbling around for a seat in the Scottish Parliament - there's gonna be at least one vacancy now that DEWAR'S dead. RAMSBLADDER's memory floats off into distant legend, but back at Falconcrest the rest of the Moderati are in near panic at what the future may bring.
First of all they've got to decide what to do in the upcoming election - now reduced to a two-horse race between Me Fist's chosen son, HUGH LANNING and good old MAREK SERWOTKA. Some, hoping to cut a deal with the Undymen, say they will endorse HUGE if the price is right. Others are calling for "dynamic abstention".
The prospect of dealing with Lord Undy excites little enthusiasm amongst the Moderati biggies - Messrs Currie, Smith & Co. The only thing they've got in common with LANNING is that they are all over 20 stone a-piece. While they could never bring themselves to endorse a TROT they know any deal with Nosferundy isn't worth the paper it won't be written on. He's only going to offer what they've already got and Herr Flick is certainly not prepared to consider an electoral pact which would give the Mods an absolute majority on the NEC.
So the smart money is on "dynamic abstention". What this means is the Mods sitting on their hands during ballot in the hope that SERWOTKA beats LANNING and gets the job for a few weeks before the Court action overturns the vote over the 50 nominations scandal. This would leave LANNING discredited and leave the field open for a new contest and a new hope for the Moderati star.
SERWOTKA, if he wins, will be the first POLE to become General Secretary of a major trade union with the exception of LECH WALESA. He's bound to get the ethnic minority and asylum seekers vote as well as the combined mass of the Assorted Trots. If the Mods had any sense they'd endorse him and he'd get a landslide.
But the Mods are planning for the race to come. They hope the Court will force the NEC to revise down the nominations field to say 20 - which might cause HUGO a problem now he's bereft of any TROT support - while well within the range of the Moderati at last.
The only credible Moderati candidate is the utterly useless VAL STANSFIELD but this in itself is no liability. All previous CPSA/IRSF/NCPS/CSU GS's have been totally incompetent greedy bastards so Skippy won't stand out at all - in fact it will be a qualification for her candidature. She may pick up the women's vote which BARRY could never do and unlike the Great Scot her political base is in the key London region.
Skippy will undoubtedly use her powerful connections in the real Membership First faction which runs the Labour Party in tandem with Blair's cronies to try and nobble LANNING - whose dubious RED past will doubtless be drawn to the public's attention time and time and time again. What's more worrying for the Undymen is that Skippy will not be just the same as BARRY if she wins - she'll be undoubtedly more vicious. She's got scores a-plenty to settle with Me First - especially Herr Flick's stooges at Falconcrest - and she'll enjoy payback time with a relish that even BARRY never tasted.
Although, looking at Barry's new contract, if THIS election is overturned by the courts, there's nothing to stop him running in a fresh election. Are you listening at the back?
It's going to be an interesting few times in the next few months
THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES....
The bolt-on bits from the new improved contract: how much Bazza you get for your buck: less working time/more plotting time, and lots of time for Highland Games.
TUC General Council
Scottish Regional Centre
Membership and Balloting - until 31 December 2001. Not to include responsibility for NEC elections or Biennial Delegate Conference to take place in 2002.
Bargaining and Negotiating: to include all HQ Bargaining Centres
Regional Centres (save for Scotland)
Council of Civil Service Unions
National Disputes Committee
Equality and Health and Safety
Policy, Research and Information
Finance, Property, Staffing, Personnel and Administration
Membership and Balloting - from 1 January 2002. To include responsibility for NEC elections and Biennial Delegate Conference to take place in 2002.
DRAFT CONTRACT FOR PCS GENERAL SECRETARY
(a) Employment in a position not lower than Senior National Officer, to be determined by the NEC, on such terms and conditions of employment as may be agreed from time to time for staff employed in that position between the Trade Union representing the Union's staff and the NEC, save that the Officer's salary shall at no time be less than that applicable to the position enjoyed by him/her immediately prior to his/her original election as General Secretary and the Officer shall have continuity of employment between his/her period of office as General Secretary and his/her subsequent period of employment in the new position; or
DRAFT CONTRACT FOR PCS GENERAL SECRETARY (revised)
This agreement is made the [insert date] day of [insert year] between Peter Donnellan the duly authorized officer of the Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) (whose chief office is at 160 Falcon Road, London SW11 2LN) hereinafter called "the Union" for and on behalf of the Union on the one part and [insert name of successful candidate].
Who has been elected to serve as General Secretary of the Union, hereinafter called "the Officer" of the other part whereby it is mutually agreed as follows: -
1. The Officer shall take up office on 1 June 2002 or (if earlier) when the post of General Secretary becomes vacant.
2. The Officer's appointment is for a fixed term which shall terminate five years from the date of election, subject to: (a) clauses 7 to 10 inclusive; and (b) the Officer not having reached his/her [insert current retirement age] th birthday which shall be the date of the Officer's retirement from post. The Officer's period of continuous employment commenced on [insert date].
3. The Officer shall perform to the best of his/her ability such duties as General Secretary as may be assigned by the Union. The officer shall devote his/her whole time to the service of the Union during the hours prescribed from time to time for the Union's headquarters staff. When necessary, for the purpose of any public activities approved by the National Executive Committee of the Union (hereinafter called 'the NEC') the Officer may be given occasional leave of absence with full pay during normal working hours.
4. In performing his/her duties the Officer will act strictly in accordance with the policies and instructions of the NEC. On all matters of Union business, the officer shall accept the authority of the NEC and comply with the provisions of the Rules of the Union that are in force from time to time.
7. At any time prior to the termination of the Officer's appointment in accordance with clause 2, the appointment may be terminated:
(a) By the Officer giving six months' prior notice in writing to the NEC.
(i) That the Officer has been guilty of gross misconduct, including but not limited to: persistent neglect of the Union's business; embezzlement or misappropriation of funds; dishonesty; persistent drunkenness; harassment, intimidation or bullying;
(ii) That the Officer has been convicted of any criminal offence in respect of which the Officer is sentenced to a term of imprisonment by reason of which the Officer can no longer properly discharge his/her duties;
(lii) That the Officer has become bankrupt and the NEC on that ground decides to terminate his/her employment.
(iv) That in the opinion of competent medical authorities, the Officer becomes permanently physically or mentally incapable of continuing his/her employment. The competent medical authorities shall be a person or persons chosen in the manner laid down in clause 11.
(c) If the Officer is required by the general law or by the Rules of the Union to stand for re-election in order to retain his/her post and does not do so or is not re-elected. Clause 10 of this contract shall apply and the Officer agrees by signing this contract that any right to a redundancy payment upon termination of his/her contract on such an event is hereby excluded.
8. Where the NEC considers that there are grounds for considering whether the Officer is guilty of gross misconduct under clause 7(b)(i), and is a fit person to remain as General Secretary, it may initiate disciplinary proceedings against the Officer. The procedure in such cases shall be that followed under Supplementary Rules 10.2 to 10.8 of the Union' Rules as at 10 October 2000 (see schedule attached) save that: (a) rule 10.5 and the first sentence of rule 10.2 shall not apply; (b) any decision by the NEC to refer the matter to a Disciplinary Committee, or to seek to terminate the Officer's employment, shall be taken on a vote of not less than two-thirds of all those entitled to vote voting in favour of a motion of which due notice has been given in writing under the standing orders; (c) any decision by the NEC to seek to terminate the Officer's employment shall in addition be subject to endorsement by a Delegate Conference of the Union; (d) any decision by a Delegate Conference to endorse the termination of the Officer's employment shall be taken by not less than two thirds of the votes entitled to be cast by those present on a card vote in favour of a motion tabled at the direction of the NEC: and (e) the functions of the General Secretary under the procedure in Section 10 of the Union's rules shall be performed by the President or by a person designated by the President. Where the NEC refers the matter to a Disciplinary Committee, or seeks the endorsement of a Delegate Conference to terminate the Officer's employment, it may suspend the Officer, by a vote of not less then two-thirds of all those entitled to vote. Such suspension shall not lessen the obligation of the Union to the Officer as regards salary or other pecuniary rights of the Officer.
9. A decision to terminate the Officer's appointment In accordance with clauses 7(b)(ii) to (iv) inclusive shall be taken by the NEC on a vote of not less than two-thirds of all those entitled to vote voting in favour of a motion of which due notice has been given in writing under the standing orders, and subsequently endorsed by a Delegate Conference of the Union with not less than two-thirds votes entitled to be cast by those present on a card vote in favour of a motion tabled at the direction of the NEC. In the event of the NEC so deciding to obtain the endorsement of a Delegate Conference to dispense with the Officer's services, the NEC shall have power, by a vote of not less than two-thirds of all those entitled to vote, to suspend the Officer until the day preceding the opening of the next succeeding Delegate Conference. Such suspension shall not lessen the obligation of the Union to the Officer as regards salary or other pecuniary rights of the Officer.
10. [The provisions in this clause shall apply only to an Officer who was previously en employee of either the Public Services, Tax and Commerce Union or the Civil and Public Services Association, and who immediately before his/her election to the post was employed by the Union.] In the event that the Officer's contract is terminated by the Union for whatever reason other than any reason falling within clause 7(b)(i), (ii), (iii) or (iv) above, the Officer shall be entitled, at his/her option to be exercised in writing within 30 days of the termination of the Officers employment with the Union, to:
(a) Employment in a position not lower than Senior National Officer, to be determined by the NEC, on such terms and conditions of employment as may be agreed from time to time for staff employed in that position between the Trade Union representing the Union and the NEC, save that the Officer's salary shall at no time be less than XXXXXXXXXXXXXX of the Union and the Officer shall have continuity of employment between his/her period of office as General Secretary and his/her subsequent period of employment in the new position; or
(b) The terms of (in the case of a former PTC employee only) either Option A or Option B or (in the case of former CPSA employees only) Option C. as set out below.
A1 Up to six and two-thirds years' enhancement of reckonable service. Service cannot be enhanced to more than double its length.
A2 Immediate payment of pension, enhanced as set out in A1.
A3 Compensation payment equivalent to six months' pensionable pay, reduced pro rata to staff within three years of retirement.
B1 The Union shall pay to the Trustees of the appropriate pension scheme a sum of money which shall secure the following benefits and shall, insofar as it may, cause the Trustees of the said scheme to secure such benefits for the Officer:
(a) Life assurance cover until the Officer's retirement in an amount equal to the life assurance cover to which the Officer is entitled under the said scheme at the time of such termination and;
(b) A sum equal to such contributions of the Union and the Officers as are required by the Rules of the said scheme applicable to the salary of the Officer at the time of such termination and as will secure such benefits as the Officer would have been entitled to by virtue of the Rules the said scheme but for such termination for either (i) the remaining period until the Officer shall have reached his/her retirement age; or (ii) the number of completed years of the Officer's service with the Union in any capacity whichever shall be the shorter.
In addition to the aforementioned benefits under Option B the Union shall pay the Officer such cash sum as it shall at its absolute discretion think fit but which shall not in any event be less than the sum equal to the aggregate of one month's gross salary in respect of each completed year of service with the Union in any capacity.
Severance terms in accordance with the provisions of the CPSA Pension scheme
The payment of benefits under Options A - C inclusive shall be subject to the maximum permissible benefits payable under Inland Revenue Regulations.
11. Any question affecting conditions not covered by this agreement shall be settled by agreement between the Officer and the NEC or, in default of such agreement, between the Trade Union representing the Union's staff and the NEC or, in default of such agreement shall be decided by a simple majority of the votes cast at a Delegate Conference of the Union.
12. This agreement supersedes any previous contract of employment in force between the Officer and the Union.
DISCIPLINARY PROCEDURES (EXCERPT FROM PCS RULES)
10.2 Any complaint against a member under this Section of the Rules shall be made in writing to the General Secretary, who shall refer it to the NEC. The NEC shall cause such enquiries to be made as it considers necessary to establish whether or not there is a prima facie case for believing that a disciplinary offence has been committed. If it considers that there is such a case it may instruct the General Secretary to:
10.3 A Disciplinary Committee shall consist of an uneven number of persons (not exceeding 7) appointed by the NEC. It shall be chaired by a life member. The remaining members may include one or more non-members of the Union. NEC members shall be ineligible. The Secretary shall be the General Secretary or a Full-time Officer designated by the General Secretary.
10.4 The member shall receive not fewer than 28 days written notice of the date, time arid place of the Committee meeting, and of their rights to:
(a) Give oral evidence, and/or nominate another person to do so on their behalf
10.5 Where a Branch has made a complaint against one of Its members, it shall be given not fewer than 28 days written notice of the date, time end place of any Committee meeting; and of its right to have a representative present at the meeting, who may make an introductory statement.
10.6 The NEC may have a representative present at the Committee meeting; call witnesses and cross-examine witnesses; and submit oral and written evidence. Any written evidence from the NEC shall reach the General Secretary not later than 21 days before the meeting, and be sent to the member at the same time.
10.7 The Committee shall not consider any written evidence received by the General Secretary later than 7 days before the meeting.
10.8 The Committee shall make decisions by not less than a two-thirds majority of those present. It may adopt such other procedures as it sees fit for the conduct of its business.
Topical joke Corner
So there is a big post election celebration at Falconcrest, and Lanolin has his inaugural speech to make. And a big crowd listens to him. And Mark Serwotka, sitting behind a female member says "Excuse me comrade, would you be so kind as to move a bit to the left, cos I can't see mister Lanning". The comrade does so. Some minutes later Marek says again: "Pardon again, comrade, could you move a bit to the right, cos I still can't see mister Lanning - the woman gets angry, but she does move. Some minutes later Serwotka says again: "Excuse me comrade, could you take off your hat, cos I can't see mister Lanning. The member is very angry now and she says: "Oi! Do you want a bleedin' telescope?!" Marek replies "No thanks, I've got one on my rifle..."
Reamsbottom, Lanning and Serwotka go in the magic forest, they go, go and they arrive at the magic pond. This pond is very famous, because if one jumps into it, and shouts the name of a drink in the air, the pond's water changes to the shouted drink. Ramsbladder runs and jumps in shouting WHISKY!! Half an hour later he comes out and he is absolutely steaming! Lanolin goes next yelling VODKA!! An hour later he emerges totally out of it.So now young Marek has a go. He runs, stumbles on a stone and bellows SHIIIT!!