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ROUND AND ABOUT
by Judas Iscariot - November 2002

If you go down to the woods today you’d better believe your eyes. But it won’t be a big surprise and there are no Teddy Bears – just the usual dinosaurs scrapping and it’s not over porridge but the juicy red meat of votes and jobbery which has sustained them all these years.

And the first to crawl out of the swamp is none other than BARRY REAMSBOTTOM, believed extinct last summer, back on the come-back trail and spitting venom. In a November Moderati statement, presumably agreed by the Jockocracy and their NEC bloc, the Great Scot defends his latest High Court challenge to the GS elections making it clear that he is going to fight to the bitter end – as long as PCS foots the bill. Though SERWOTKA is predictably denounced, most of the vitriol is focused against HUGH LANNING and the dregs of ME FIRST, or should we say “PCS DEMOCRATS” because name as well as size makes the difference. But let’s look at that later.

This screed, clearly penned by RAMSBLADDER himself, is up on the Moderati website, and it has already attracted the fire of the Assorted Trots and all the others who hate BARRY. What it does say is little more than what the Mods have been putting around for months. What is doesn’t say is what has been going on behind closed doors though it can be guessed at.

It’s now clear that the Jockocracy have closed ranks around RAMSBLADDER and his come-back campaign. STUART CURRIE is pointedly referred to as “Leader” of the Group to make it clear that it’s not that black woman whose name we can never remember. And it’s also clear that not all the Mods are convinced of the wisdom of all of this. Only last month the Moderati tabled a motion on the NEC committing the union to make some tribute to BARRY’S long contribution to the movement now that he had retired. This was passed with the support of the IRMF. All RAMSBLADDER could then reasonably look forward to was a gold watch and another Jockocracy piss-up. Now we’ve got something else to look forward to…

This whole business has been a high-risk caper from the beginning. The original court challenge ended in humiliation for the Mods and a huge bill for the membership. The new challenge, if it actually goes forward, has no more guarantee of success. What it will certainly do is give SERWOTKA and LEFT UNITY a stick to bash the Mods with again and again in the run-up to the elections.

Now not all think the same and it’s also clear that the Mods are bidding for the high-caste vote now that ME FIRST have split for good. The attack on the Pathfinder dispute is a clearly aimed at those who don’t want to go on strike for anything – though it ignores the fact that those people rarely join the union in the first place. And the message is clearly redolent of the thinking of their new allies in the Revenue. PAULINE ABRAMS’ apparent sidelining in favour of BUNTER may reflect Mr PRIESTLEY’S long-stated desire for the Presidency when it comes up for grabs again. But the timing has more to do with the disarray amongst the high-caste constituency.

They were clearly rattled by the exposure of “PCS Friends” – a secret full-time officers society comprised of former communists and high-castes headed by the loathsome LANNING, who incidentally could easily share BUNTER’S wardrobe.

The head of the TUFTY CLUB was in the chair last month at one of these pointless full-time conferences he loves to hold. MAREK was pointedly at the other end of the table. JIM HANSON, who’s spent the best part of a decade acting as BARRY’S chief fixer, with more than Dutch Courage, bravely asked JIM McAUSLAN what PCS FRIENDS was all about. McAUSLAN, who oversees the IR for LANNING’S cronies, merely said he “likes to listen to all sides”. That didn’t stop VERONICA BAYNE and her Dobson-like husband, STEVE PRESTON, from telling HANSON how disgusted they were at the PFL for spilling the beans. It didn’t bother HANSON, as he’s nothing to lose now that he’s been sent to the Siberian wastes of the COMMERCIAL SECTION.

Now let’s go back to the woods again because LORD UNDY is also on the come-back trail now that his efforts to woo MAD MONK PRIESTLEY and the others in IRMF have come to naught. Re-branding themselves as “PCS DEMOCRATS” (cf. PCS FRIENDS) the Undymen hope to restore their tattered fortunes in alliance with LEFT UNITY. And NOSFERUNDY started the way he means to carry on with an exercise in back-stabbing detailed in a previous PFL despatch.

That HERR FLICK doesn’t think he’s got much hope amongst the low-castes is shown by the membership rates – “£1.00 a month for those paid below the European Decency Threshold” as he coyly puts it -- rising to £15 a month for those earning in excess of £40k. Some of the former Underlings have been kicked out for remaining loyal to PRIESTLEY & Co; others like Uncle Tom BIOSAH have been excluded. In his case no doubt because he is utterly useless.

And the new faction, undoubtedly led by UNDY and SARAH JONES, is already trying to entice LUNITY into agreeing to a “Democracy ticket” joint-slate for the elections. They are now saying that they will back demands for annual NEC elections and a return to annual Conference – both abolished under the new rules largely drawn up by UNDY himself when he was allied to the Moderati. But they significantly are saying nothing about the election of senior full-time officers – a LEFT demand, which also has Moderati support. Will this be enough for LUNITY? I think not but we will see…