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NEWS FROM THE SMOKE FILLED ROOMS
BY JUDAS ISCARIOT - Mid November 2006

'Tis the season to be jolly or near as damn it if the stores are anything to go by these days covered in tinsel and Santa's telling us there's only umpteen shopping days left till Christmas. And there's even less for the faction bosses drawing up their slates for the New Year AGMs.

Appropriately enough JAKE'S WILDMEN gathered in a frosty Newcastle setting for their latest attempt to re-organise and ready themselves for the coming year's elections.  Jake who stood at the front throughout the entire meeting as if leading a revivalist meeting was ever optimistic about the future prospects of 4TM. Erstwhile 4TM Grandee known as the MAD MONK sat at the back for the first half of the meeting before retreating to the BAR for the second half. DAMIAN CARR spoke with renewed enthusiasm about the new 4Circulation newsletter, appealing for articles from those present. HOWARD FULLER promoted his new internal and utterly boring bulletin 4Discussion , soliciting an article from PRIESTLEY who by then was clearly imbibing the local HOP JUICE at an alarming rate.

Old BUFFER Sir ROY d'LEWIS represented the "4TM Pensioners group" (which consists entirely of himself), waving his tatty Labour Party membership card at HOWIE for daring to attack said organisation. The main topic of the day was of course the LONG PROMISED MANIFESTO, which JAKE has been drafting for the past year. Amendments agreed it may finally see the light of day! JOE le taxi COX was as usual more concerned with the FOOTBALL results and produced his magistrates' BLACK CAP to ensure attendees finished on time.

But the big news was the defection of ROB BRYSON from LUNITY to 4TM. In a statement read to the meeting he said:

"I have been carefully considering the direction I take within PCS over the past few months.  There is no question that the union is facing considerable challenges.

The Left Unity leadership has offered plenty of rhetoric but not delivered the results.  As a Branch Secretary in DWP I have witnessed the quality of members working lives go steadily downhill with little hope of reprieve.  The LU leadership appears dated, tired and lacking in ideas about how to counter the predicaments we face.  LU is not a pleasant organisation to be part of, ruled by fear and intimidation, the sectarianism is rife and I believe damaging to the union as a whole. I have been impressed with the work done by 4TM over the past year.  The recent materials issued have been excellent. It's clear that 4TM is developing into a serious and credible alternative leadership that can deliver for members. I look forward to working with you all at this exciting time."

BRYSON'S short journey from the far left to the far right has finally come to an end. His defection was welcomed by CARR and WILLIE SAMUELS, who hope he will strengthen their hand versus the Revenue OLD GUARD in the months to come.

Back in London the SOCIALIST CAUCUS, or whatever they call themselves these days, are bracing themselves for the onslaught of the Grandees now that LEE ROCK has formally left the BIG TENT. ROCK only threw in the towel last week when he was sure that no deal had been struck between the BACONISTAS and the LUNITY biggies. A brief note in his WEEDY WANKER rag has now been followed by one of his usual turgid articles justifying the split, which he says goes back to rows within the left bloc over two years ago. Be that as it may it has certainly taken ROCK a long time to make his bid for power. Why the Cockney voice of Sheffield is called "Napoleon" by some of his CARCASE chums is beyond me. I know he's short but I dread to think where he sticks his hand.

The slate formerly known as the Socialist Caucus will be standing a full slate for NEC and the DWP GEC though they've had to drag members off the streets to fill the list. Their National Presidential candidate will be STEVE LLOYD (DWP Sheffield) and they will be focusing their election statements and campaign materials around what they see as the key issue, national pay. Open meetings are been planned in the run up to the vote and they claim a 'great response' had been received to the reps schools the Caucus have organised for the end of this month.

The DWP London Regional Committee held last week turned out to be a very enlightening affair about the sate of minds of the Caucus harridans. One of the issues they started barking on about was the problem of personal cases and how much work the Regional Officers were taking on. All fine and good you would think until GEORGE THOMPSON (Br Sec NE London and Caucus mascot) let the cat out of the bag. In a long and garbled contribution he made the following statement: "We don't want to be doing personal cases when we need to be campaigning on collective action"

This banal statement (subsequently backed up by TONY REAY, the quite mad Regional Secretary) shows what utter contempt the Caucus have for the members. Their statements left ROB BRYSON, DEREK THOMSON (Glasgow BDC) and HOWIE absolutely speechless - a remarkable achievement in all three cases. The Caucus have finally admitted that they care not a jot about members' individual problems, and are only interested in using the masses to further their own barmy causes.

When we reached the question of the forthcoming dispute, HOWIE, who fancies himself as a bit of an orator, argued that there were going to be problems with the strategy adopted by the NEC who are to launch the ballot on 3 rd January, whilst a lot of members will still be on leave, ending it one week before the due date of action which is to be 31 st January. FULLERSHIT also opined that the DWP settlement had left a big problem in the PCS's largest section as many members thought the dispute was now over arguing that we would have difficulties in mobilising support at this stage. He then sat back and waited for the comrades' wrath. But to his utter surprise CHRISTINE HULME agreed with him! GEORGE THOMPSON'S behaviour was equally bizarre, even by his standards.   When

he first spoke he condemned North London branch (who weren't present to defend themselves) in a vicious attack for not doing enough personal cases.  Ten minutes later in his second contribution he was condemning everyone for doing ........personal cases!  

The CARCASE are clearly and utterly demoralised by the inept "leadership" of Messrs ROCK and McDONALD. The "fight" seems to have completely gone out of them. All their supporters reported the same problems in their branches. Could this be a cunning ruse we ask ourselves? But no, for once they are not "chomping at the bit for action". Needless to say they are not prepared to write to the NEC outlining these issues as they say Serwotka is not for turning. Since London is their main stronghold this says a lot about the supposed militancy of their branches.

The Grandees now have a walk-over at their own BIG TENT AGM but the battle is really for the hearts and minds of the union's biggest department, DWP. Whether JANICE and JANE are up for a vicious faction fight in London is another matter. Neither are known for their knife-work except in the chair or at the table and DAVE SPAGNOL cannot do the job on his own.

But the BRYSON defection gives them a bridge to 4TM if they want to resurrect the "London Left Alliance" for real elections and they've still got the loyalty of the SWP for what it is worth in the Metropolis.

SOCIALIST WANKERS are a bit thin on the ground in the capital these days so there's no doubt we will seen more of PHIL PARDOE in the coming months. MR PUNCH is definitely planning a comeback. PARDOE spotters have noticed a surge in activity from the fallen SWP superstar. When not sweeping the streets of Brentford on "community service" (see PFLs passim) he is agitating for strike action amongst Social Fund members over the plans to relocate work to Balham. He was on the RTUS team that met the Field Director a week or so back. It's only a matter of time before he reappears at the LRC. But the real prize he is after is a place on the Grandee GEC slate and a return to his role of GECLO for London, a post he loved....

From speaking to SWP 'ers it would seem his party suspension has indeed been lifted. It's only a matter of time before he seizes control of the SWP fraction from DAVE OWENS and will rule with his IRON FIST once more. How THE TWO FAT LADIES will respond to his ambition I wouldn't like to hazard a guess.

ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora
Eggs today are better than chickens tomorrow

roman proverb