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PAY CONFERENCE 1987

 

Forget the Pay Conference: it's all a stitch-up anyway. Instead, put your feet up, relax and get away from it all with this Special Edition of the PFLCPSA Communiqué. If you can Identify any of the "young bloods of the hard left" In this picture, approach them carrying a copy of this Bulletin, and say, "You are a mole and I claim my large Scotch"

Caligula's Horse
The Mendicant lust for posts proceeds apace. The appointment of Chris Baugh's little brother Jeremy to the Research Dept. has of course been greeted with general acclaim, but the height of cynicism was reached when Roddy accepted congratulations on his appointment as Head of Organisation before the advertisement appeared.

NEWS FROM THE SMOKE-FILLED ROOMS
The ineptitude of the Milieu knows no bounds. At the Annual Meeting of the `Ome Orifice Bored Left, in Liverpool on 7th November, two conflicting "slates" for the next year's elections were put forward. The first came from Les Mitchell, and the second from Larry O'Callaghan the main difference between them was who should get the nomination for Section Chair. Old Baldy has been doing the thankless task for some six years now, since he disposed of the right-wing Northern Mafia in an overnight coup which is still spoken of in hushed and overawed tones. He naturally felt that he should continue in post. Mumbles on the other hand was of the opinion that now was the time to advance the cause of true Revolutionary Socialism as espoused by the R.S.L., and duly put himself forward, relegating the Scouser to Assistant Secretary (Prisons).

At this point, the rivalry gets a bit complex, but the Mitchell camp had Sue Brown down for this post, though the Milieu, worried that they were going to further lose their toehold on this important section, began to put round a story that she was incompetent. This theory no doubt derives from the fact that since she took over as treasurer/organiser of P.D. S.E. Region Branch, membership has gone from 249 to 416 and the books balanced for the first time in 6 years. But the shadowy men argued that the only "credible" alternative was Les Mitchell himself, and that to take over this important post, he would have to stand down as Chair. This would then leave the top job open as of course Mumbles was the only candidate capable of filling it!

After a lot of frantic and secret phone calls made during the previous week, the day of reckoning arrived; Old Baldy was informed that, by a majority of 7-5, he could not vote, and the knives were well and truly out. There is of course something on each Bored Left membership card about being "entitled to speak and vote and policy meetings.. ." but let that pass. The meeting went rapidly downhill and the Mumbly slate was accepted by 7-6. The soon-to-be former Chair said he would not run for Assistant Secretary, and the meeting accepted that Sue Brown would get the job. As she was the original (stated) reason for the Milieu putting up their own slate, this reasoning is hard to follow. Whilst our `Ome Orifice agents were compiling this report at the meeting, they received the usual fraternal visit from the men in black, who greeted them with the old Socialist salutation; "Don't write any more of that fucking crap - or else!" Meanwhile at the DHSS Brewed Left Conference, the Socialist Carcass swooped to purge Mendicant Tony Church from his Assistant Secretary post, proving that the spirit of comradeship runs throughout the organisation.

With the sensitive timing for which they are famous, the pals then all left the hotel where the Conference was being held (on Remembrance Sunday), only to walk straight into an Orange march. Pavlov and all his dogs could not have prevented them from setting up a chant of "Troops Out!", and they wondered why they were then almost lynched. BL'84 were meanwhile enjoying themselves on a day trip to the Fun Capital of the North, Manchester.

Here there were no unseemly controversies about lists - all the contentious candidates had seen what was coming and got themselves nice jobs with SCPS the previous week. This meant that delegates were able to concentrate on the serious business of the weekend, and Alcoholics Anonymous picked up three new members on Monday morning.

Oh, and the National Moderate Group did organise a meeting, but only the Rank and File turned up, plus Arthur Newell. The proposed affiliation to the Flat Earth Society was approved nem con.

Pat Womersley is 221 (she says).