THE POPULAR FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF CPSA
FREEDOM! UNITY! SOCIALISM!
REVOLUTION UNTIL VICTORY!
REDDER STRIPE (1981)
SMUT SHEETS - THE WAY FORWARD
P.F.L. leaders, failed "Before" and "After" advert models Andre (Andy) Bruchs (Brooks) and Stee (Steve) Poo See (Pewsey), must be regretting the hasty way they expelled Smut Specialists Chon Ah Dams, Khe Tee Brin and Dhe Vee Mak Laimon from PFL ranks.
Chon, Khe and Dhe now edit the scurrilous "Backstabbers' Gazette", which is so contemptible that even the "Telegraph" will not touch it. Frail Khe Tee Brin, 26¼, who freelances for Redder Stripe, commented last night "Black Guard is the only way forward, with a truly revolutionary line in scandal - unlike the bankrupt PFL, whose adherence to Islam denies the truly internationalist nature of muckraking and mudslinging."
Redder Stripe hates both groups as they never write anything about us.....
CRUISE MICE SCANDAL - DOCUMENTS SEIZED
But CND will also destroy the lives of thousands of tiny, furry nuclear-powered rodents..... some of which are as yet UNBORN! After agreeing to write a stern letter to `the Ruling Catholic Action Group the MOD sang a victorious round of "Rule, Britannia" and returned to their seats.
Meanwhile Redder Stripe activists picketed the local police station where the hapless revealer of the Cruise Mice project was being held under Section 998 of the Official Secrets Act.
Deals Not Straightforwardness?
Redder Stripe offer 300 ring-pull can tops for further information on this sordid affair..
PUBLIC MEETING - MAGNIFICENT SUCCESS - £ THOUSANDS £ COLLECTED! Redder Stripe organisers were thrilled by the response to their public meeting last night. An estimated 1,320 delegates filled the hall to hear Carolai Con-A-Wai make an earnest plea on behalf of the Presidential Limousine Fighting Fund, following the guillotining of Motion 883. "Comrades" urged Con-A-Wai, "Empty your pockets for this cause!" Our slogan is "Style not Slumming, Cars not Cabs". A magnificent £45,600 was collected and presented to a grinning President by dynamic rank-and-filer Pete Slowperson, who has learned to his regret the problems caused by attempting to have regular access to a vehicle.
OBITUARY - TWENTY TOP COMPANIES BREATHE SIGH OF RELIEF...
Following the customary rebuff (a fusillade of Molotov Beercans, Rodde turned tail into the sunset, pathetically singing "Vooat on tha Tiyn's all mein, all mein..." Comrades, we mourned the bravery of Captain Oates. let us lift up our hearts and sing for this new martyr...
"SECTION CHAIRMAN IN TEARS" SHOCK HORROR....
Frankly, a Lee-Bar Partee Councillor some aeons ago, said of the purge at his Surbiton Holiday Home "It is all a case of mind over matter They don't mind and I don't matter..." Redder Stripe is shocked by such cynicism.
REDDER STRIPE - WHERE WE STAND - ALL OUT THINGY TO WIN
Drinkers' control NOW! No import controls on Red Stripe, Pilsner, Fosters or even Newcastle Brown (just to show we're not sectarian).
Free use of clichés on demand --a bulletin writers right to choose: vote for/against almost everything...
An end to the Whitbread System - Free-House collective Gathering for all Branches regardless of size.
For closer liaison with other public sector drinkers - an end to not being invited to their parties.
VOTE RIGGING CLAIM - A CONFERENCE WEEPS WITH DISMAY!
Countering the rumours, a spokesperson from Redder Stripe commented that their new Strike Force into the Left consisted of Androgynous Boot-Person KheTee Brin and new fresh-faced entrant to the ranks, a certain Mlle. Nee-Nah Fell-Ipps.
These weapons are an unknown quantity and Redder Stripe claimed that Barby-Can are now quaking in their assorted footwear. "Who's next?" we may well ask...