Greetings Earthlings. Due to a bad site crash and appalling webkeeping - site backups were found to be corrupt back to 2009 - we had to recreate the site from scratch with what we could salvage. We designed a new template which is probably friendlier to smart phones, and painstakingly recreated each page. As if you give a fuck. Fortunately all the Conference Communiqués to date survived. Update October 2015: An intense grooming excercise in the darker recesses of t'interwebthingy is ongoing. Our experts have so far detected what they believe to be text, but no images, from some of our lost boys. An attempt will be made to re-create these pages using their mitochondrial DNA and equipment provided by The Saviours of Spec. Watch this space.

SITE NAVIGATION AND HYGIENE RULES

The site is navigated by reverse osmosis and guesswork, unless the Force in you is strong: those less gifted may use the links on the left to access our somewhat hefty archive from CPSA to PCS, the latest news is accessed by er...clicking the RECENT link. JUDAS contains our mysterious between conference ramblings betwixt Messrs Judas Iscariot, Barrabas, and occasionally Amphibalas, all of whom have slightly different reporting styles. If you get lost, click the HOME button, or the EAGLE on the left to return to this page, then you can start getting lost all over again. Couldn't even have made it far more simpler enough than that, ever. Any questions? No? Good, now get lost.

Visitors to the site are reminded to take their litter home with them. Please remove your footwear. And your clothes. Skin is optional. The taking of photographs or videos is prohibited. The eyeball above really is watching you - it is the latest in software webcam technology. Stop picking your nose. This site contains satire, fair comment and things both mythical and real, so if you think you might be offended, tough. Contains permitted flavourings and colouring (beta carotene - we're still waiting for the full version). This site may contain traces of nuts. This has been taken into account in the site risk assessment. Animals may have been harmed in the construction of the website, but none except Manatees and Oarfish have contacted us to express an opinon or complain. These are being dealt with by our aquatics team. The Lutefiske complaint was readily resolved, don't eat it.

Only click the links to enter the site if you really can't make up either or any of your minds.

And don't forget the PFL ribbon, which enables you to bring all manner of ills to everyone's attention all the time. Cool.