Janice in Wonderland
by expired Agent Dodgson, adapted for inaction by Barrabas
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The Caucus Race

The Part of:

Alice is played by Ms Janice Godrich
the Dodo by Mr Charles McDonald of that Ilk
the Eaglet by Ms Jane Aitchison
some of the other birds by Mr Christopher Philip Pardoe

the DWP GEC provide the chorus of voices


Scene: Alice and the others have become soaked by her tears of self pity when she finds she is unable to unlock doors and they are now discussing the way forward.


As wet as ever, said Alice in a melancholy tone: it doesn't seem to dry me at all.

In that case, said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--

Speak English! said the Eaglet. I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either! And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.

What I was going to say, said the Dodo in an offended tone, was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.

What IS a Caucus-race? said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

Why, said the Dodo, the best way to explain it is to do it. (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (the exact shape doesn't matter, it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no One, two, three, and away, but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out The race is over! and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, But who has won?

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.

But who is to give the prizes? quite a chorus of voices asked.

Why, SHE, of course, said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, Prizes! Prizes!

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