gold eagle












by Judas Isacariot - Later than the Ides 2003

MOST EYES are on the Middle East these days. And students of history know that armies of great empires have come to ruin on these desert sands in the past. It is said that the Final Days will be heralded by an epic struggle on the plains of Armageddon, which fortunately for us is a village in Palestine nowhere near modern-day Iraq. But around Clapham Junction other eyes are planning a regime-change of their own and in the not too distant future, as well.

The special NEC convened for 13th March may have ended in farce but the Moderati are only now realising how badly they played their cards on that day. The meeting was called to proceed on carrying out the decisions passed by the membership ballot – to appoint independent scrutineers to oversee elections this year and agree the time and place of the 2003 Annual Conference and Conference timetable.

The Moderati, who together with their IR Me First allies command an overall majority but not the two-thirds needed to overturn a presidential ruling, oafishly decided to boycott the session claiming “illness”, “leave”, “bereavement” or “other union business”. By making the meeting inquorate they hoped to put off the day of reckoning in the polls, not taking into account the fact that the will of the membership expressed by individual ballot, takes precedence over all other claims.

It was a tactic which didn’t go down well with their high-caste Revenue allies, who pointed out that they simply could not claim to be sick or on other PCS work in their own department and retain credibility with their colleagues or their superiors. So LES PRIESTLEY, EUERS & Co trooped in to mount a rear-guard. All the MODERATI dutifully sent in their sick-notes apart from a nonentity called ROBERT BOWERS, who was instructed to attend to note the proceedings and make sure the MAD MONK didn’t double-cross them.

Needless to say it didn’t work. The President and General Secretary, after taking legal advice, have appointed the Electoral Reform Services to act as the independent scrutineers and have ordered new elections between 6th June & 3rd July, with the result announced on American Independence Day. A special two-day annual conference will be held in Blackpool’s Winter Gardens on 8th and 9th of July. The Moderati have been left spluttering with rage – partly it has to be said at the usual incompetence of Group Leader STUART BUNTER – while LUNITY get down to the real business of drawing up their joint slate with UNDY’S “PCS Democrats”.

They say the first victim in war is truth. But Pilate said, “What is truth?” – and indeed you may well ask trying to get any hard information from the dinosaurs and bagmen of PCS today.

The Undymen are clearly discomforted at the prospect of playing second-fiddle to the likes of JANICE GODRICH, DANNY WILLIAMSON and LEON BAUGH. Nor do they have much of a campaign apart from a telephone tree and a boring website that is seldom if ever updated with any news. Hardly a pro-active outfit. The launch conference has still to take place and the regional contacts listed on their web-page are anonymous simply because they are all currently organised by Undy’s webmaster.

The LUNITY bandwagon, on the other hand, marches on, though pedestrian more aptly sums up the stodgy but regular fare on its websites and in its bulletins. The Moderati have a website, run by BUNTER, which hasn’t been updated for months and all the IR Me Firsters have come up with is a rather pompous four-page justification of their stand on the NEC signed by “MEMBERS VOICE” but clearly penned by WILDE and EUERS with bits by PRIESTLEY.

A new message-board has been set up by JOHN O’NEILL, who likes to call himself JOHNMELAD, which currently consists of a number of postings all in single figures under a variety of headings. All useful stuff, but hampered by Bill Gates insistence that you give the CIA your details before you can join in the fun and upload files.

Meanwhile back in the hindmost echelons, life goes on… though with added purpose for CHRIS FORD, the PCS martyr victimised on trumped-up charges of picket-line violence during the PATHFINDER campaign. FRAUD got a three-year written warning and was barred from promotion for the same period. Being barred from promotion shouldn’t trouble our Friend of the Ukraine as he had more chance of being struck by lightning than being promoted, even on a good day. He will have to keep his nose clean in future for a while, particularly when the new DWP facilities “agreement” kicks-in – it specifically bars members under disciplinary penalties from holding office for the duration. But who "agrees" this shit? Never mind Chris, a drop of Buckfast will make you feel better!

DAVE ALLEN, you will be pleased to note, is moving on. He’s paddled his canoe down to flood-torn Chertsey to become Regional Officer for PROSPECT – their loss, our gain. SKIPPY STANSFIELD hopes to follow soon. Her golden handshake negotiations are coming along nicely - watch this space.

And finally good old MICKEY DUGGAN comes up trumps again. The south London bruiser and Trot turncoat has now swung sufficiently to the right to be appointed SNO for MoD, acquiring the equivalent civilian rank of BRIGADIER. Quite what the security services will make of the former INTERNATIONAL SOCIALIST's track record of membership of seditious organisations is anyone’s guess…