THE POPULAR FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF CPSA
FIGHTING ON IN OUR 45th YEAR BUT A BIT RETIRED NOW
FREEDOM! UNITY! SOCIALISM!
ONE CIVIL SERVICE UNION,
ONE GLORIOUS DESTINY!
REVOLUTION UNTIL VICTORY!
SACRIFICE APPEASES THE TIN-POT GODS
REPORT FROM AGENT HELLBOY - 15th November 2005
SWP Fraction Meeting Report
The SWP met in secret in The Bastille Camden on Saturday 12th November to discuss the breach of the party line by Martin JOHN and Sue BOND. Great care was taken to ensure the meeting wasn't advertised to the "sectarians" as the last time they met the Socialist Carcase turned up to leaflet the meeting. An embarrassed Phil PARDOE got into an argument with Charlie MCDONALD as they were surplus to the SWP requirement. The other problem was there were more people lobbying the SWP than actually attending the meeting. The SWP are currently paranoid about "leaks" and their Industrial Organiser Martin SMIFF has been investigating the recent leak to the "Weekly Worker" which caused the SWP to have a fit. No doubt this report will cause a few sleepless nights, too.
Around 30 SWP members turned up, including full timers. So important was this meeting to the SWP that in addition to SMIFF, Chris HARMAN (chief MULLAH) and three other minor full timers were sent along to to sort out the internal crisis that has arisen over Martin JOHN and Sue BOND voting against the party line on the PCS NEC over the Pensions agreement. Most SWP members had come baying for blood, but were deprived of their fun by Martin JOHN resigning from the SWP the night before the trial took place (see letter to Martin Smith).
Chief blood letter was Phil PARDOE who led a call for JOHN's head at the meeting. The fact that he was a rival for the leadership of the SWP fraction was an added bonus. The "comrades" were deprived of their main target and were forced to attack the weaker target of Sue BOND. The attacks from the audience were so vicious that despite her writing a grovelling letter of apology to the party, it seems that comrades wanted her to literally fall on her sword and Keith CRANE a leading LUNITY supporter in London LU wanted more, in the form of a PUBLIC self-denunciation. Sue BONDs son (LIAM) stood up and told the meeting to leave his mummy alone, she hadn't had the support necessary from the party. This attracted howls of fury from the audience and led to one wag reminding all present that Sue hardly ever attends party meetings. Oh the shame.
Dave OWENS from Manchester was quite vitriolic in his denunciation of JOHN. Anna (mouth without a cause) OWENS was unusually quiet during the whole sordid affair as she was a fan of Mr JOHN and wasn't sure how to respond. Most members however, wanted more punishment as the revolutionary fervour got typically out of hand. One almost expected "Madame la guillotine" to make an appearance. PARDOE certainly had his knitting with him, as he triumphantly became the leader of the PCS SWP fraction. What new member Tansy FELTIS made of these peurile antics is not known, still - it serves her right for rejecting overtures from Madame GODRICH to join the Socialist Party.
Mark SERWOTKA it seems has developed new critics in the form of the SWP who want to make public criticisms of his actions to "prevent a further drift to the right". SERWOTKA of course is the only leading Trade Unionist to support the communalist RESPECT project and appear to be lining up with the CARCASE as major critics which will only drive him further into the clutches of the SP. SERWOTKA spent the evening at the SP bash in the University of London as a key speaker at their rally. Whether JOHN was there is not known, but someone has to carry the General Secretaries bag. The money is now on JOHN joining the SP, if indeed he has not done so already. Fortunately for him, he's jumped ship just ahead of the LUNITY CONFERENCE in early December where he has a nomination in to be elected to the LUNITY slate to stand as an NEC candidate under the LU banner. He's bound to pick up the huge SP/SSP vote for "services rendered".
Prospective members of the SWP should be aware that in addition to giving them 10% of your wages, failing to swallow the dogma put out by a couple of crackpots will result in kangaroo courts and purges Uncle Joe would have been proud of. Zehr purity must nein be besmirched. This statement was issued by something called The Central Committee following the Inquisition.